ChatterBank1 min ago
awkward silences
5 Answers
hi i've recently started going out with a guy and i'm finding awkward silences which sort of spoil it. we used to be friends first so we've gone over all the basic stuff but when we go out at first it's quite awkward and i can't think of anything to say other than hows your day etc. we knew each other before so it's quite weird just to randomly say what kind of movies/music do you like or something. i know i'm being a bit paranoid but i like him quite a lot. any ideas?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.There are three sorts of silences between partners. One is a comfortable silence born of many years companionship and friendship where words are not necessary.
The second silence is an uncomfortable silence, triggered by misunderstandings and arguments.
The third type of silence is a bored silence, and I wonder if this is what has happened to you? Although you stay you still like him, perhaps you just don't have enough in common for a relationship to be sustainable on a long term basis. Just because he was formerly a friend does not necessarily make him a good permanent companion. If you feel you have to make all the running in the conversation and you've only just started to go out together, imagine what hard work it's going to turn into in a few years time. Perhaps he just a man of few words or not a very good conversationalist. However, now you're getting to know him more closely, this is what he is actually like.
If the situation is really getting to you, perhaps you really are just not suited?
The second silence is an uncomfortable silence, triggered by misunderstandings and arguments.
The third type of silence is a bored silence, and I wonder if this is what has happened to you? Although you stay you still like him, perhaps you just don't have enough in common for a relationship to be sustainable on a long term basis. Just because he was formerly a friend does not necessarily make him a good permanent companion. If you feel you have to make all the running in the conversation and you've only just started to go out together, imagine what hard work it's going to turn into in a few years time. Perhaps he just a man of few words or not a very good conversationalist. However, now you're getting to know him more closely, this is what he is actually like.
If the situation is really getting to you, perhaps you really are just not suited?
yea if you are having uncomfortable silences thats not good, i think you dont know how to act with him in a loving relationship because you were once friends, conversation should come natural and you shouldnt have awkward silences. You may also be thinking about things too much in depth, try to relax and things may change, but if this carries on, id be thinkin twice about whether to stay in the realtionship.