1st christmas without our mum

[dorindarasbe]

hi all, having just lost our mum on 5th november aged 57 my 2 sisters and i are all dreading christmas. our mum was like a big kid at christmas and used to always cry at all her presents, we are so going to miss her, how can we get through it please? many thanks.

[WendyS]

The first Christmas after a bereavement is always difficult. Because your mum's death was so recent, it will be doubly hard for you this year and I think you are just going to have to go with the flow and accept that tears might flow. Just accept them and be thankful for all the happy memories. Light a candle for her at your lunch table but remember to laugh for her too, because that it almost certainly what she would have wanted for you all.

[sarnieken]

Our dad died in 2000 from cancer and the first christmas is obviously the worst. The thing is that different people are helped by different things.
Personally, and this is something that helped my family, I would do christmas in your own way but definitely do something that you used to do together. Whether its getting up at the same time and have the same routine. Or if you had a particular meal then have that. That way you are able to move on slowly and safely but still remember your mum.

[eyeshade]

The best thing of all is that your mum WILL be with you on Christmas day, they usually aren't far away especially if you are thinking of her, and some of you may well feel her presence.

My mum died many years ago now, sadly, but very often I smell her perfume which was Cinebar by Este Laude and I have moved house three times now since so I know it is her and it gives me a warm and loving feeling.
Have a lovely Christmas.