Jobs & Education1 min ago
long spells depressed while pregnant
I think my hormones are playing with me, but i am 36 weeks pregnant and just moved house, i'm trying to organise things for the baby but my partner just moans that I move things and we disagree about it, i know it seems petty but I cant get things done as he wont let me. Its so upsetting as I have wanted sex more in pregnancy but he doesnt and I dont get many cuddles so feel pretty lonely and sad. Any ideas, I do try to perk myself up but he brings me down again as I cant seem to do anything right!
Answers
1 to 3 of 3
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by B.Bee. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Men eh! Pain in the proverbials at times and when we are hormonal they seem even worse dont they.
Is it just general things that are getting you down? it sounds like it might be and this could just be put down to the fact that you are nearing the end of your pregnancy and the arrival of your baby. Its a tough time for any pregnant woman, Im sure most of us had similar experiences.
You want everything perfect for your babys arrival and often the men just arent too interested in how a nursery should look or where the mobile should hang etc etc. They dont understand the nesting instinct or the raging hormones that may make us want more sex and cuddles.
Have you tried talking it through with him? He may be of the opinion that a heavily pregnant woman is fragile and that he cant have sex for fear of hurting the baby or something, youll be amazed how many men think this.
If this is your first child he may also be under a lot of pressure as the day approaches where his life will change dramatically. Its a scary time for the father and they often dont think they can discuss it with their pregnant partner. My boyfriend had horrible nightmares that something would go wrong and he would be shaken and upset by them. I often had to prise it out of him but we talked these things through.
Perhaps you could also have a quiet word with your midwife at next appointment? theyve seen and heard it all before and may also be able to reassure you in some way.
Is it just general things that are getting you down? it sounds like it might be and this could just be put down to the fact that you are nearing the end of your pregnancy and the arrival of your baby. Its a tough time for any pregnant woman, Im sure most of us had similar experiences.
You want everything perfect for your babys arrival and often the men just arent too interested in how a nursery should look or where the mobile should hang etc etc. They dont understand the nesting instinct or the raging hormones that may make us want more sex and cuddles.
Have you tried talking it through with him? He may be of the opinion that a heavily pregnant woman is fragile and that he cant have sex for fear of hurting the baby or something, youll be amazed how many men think this.
If this is your first child he may also be under a lot of pressure as the day approaches where his life will change dramatically. Its a scary time for the father and they often dont think they can discuss it with their pregnant partner. My boyfriend had horrible nightmares that something would go wrong and he would be shaken and upset by them. I often had to prise it out of him but we talked these things through.
Perhaps you could also have a quiet word with your midwife at next appointment? theyve seen and heard it all before and may also be able to reassure you in some way.
My partner and I had our worst rows when I was pregnant with our first child.
I know I was sometimes irrational and over-emotional, and the nesting instinct made we want to get things sorted when he thought we had loads of time.
He was incredibly insensitive and selfish, and did nothing to make me feel better.
We muddled through, and talking about that time afterwards he admitted to huge amounts of fear about impending responsibility, being a father, financial responsibility etc. He also told me that he was scared of what I was becoming too. I'd changed from a cool, calm independant person into a very emotional mess who cried a lot.
We're still together 5 years and 2 children later so it all got better, but i wish we'd been able to talk before. I found the pregnancy and the first 6 months very difficult because we weren't honest with each other about how we were feeling, so we couldn't share all our irrational fears of which there were many. We also had to learn to ask each other for cuddles because we realised that neither of us could read minds.
I think if you can get him to talk - tell him how you're feeling, admit to your own irrationality and other pregnancy madnesses that you're having. Try and laugh about some of your own moods so he can then feel comfortable about admitting to his own. He may be as scared as you, but it sounds as if his way of dealing with it is to be mean and insensitive to you as my partner was to me.
Your baby's nearly due so it would be great to sort it out now so you can concentrate on all the new exciting and scary things about parenthood together. We have a fabulous relationship now - I hope you sort yours quicker than we sorted ours.
Good luck. The children are definately worth it.
I know I was sometimes irrational and over-emotional, and the nesting instinct made we want to get things sorted when he thought we had loads of time.
He was incredibly insensitive and selfish, and did nothing to make me feel better.
We muddled through, and talking about that time afterwards he admitted to huge amounts of fear about impending responsibility, being a father, financial responsibility etc. He also told me that he was scared of what I was becoming too. I'd changed from a cool, calm independant person into a very emotional mess who cried a lot.
We're still together 5 years and 2 children later so it all got better, but i wish we'd been able to talk before. I found the pregnancy and the first 6 months very difficult because we weren't honest with each other about how we were feeling, so we couldn't share all our irrational fears of which there were many. We also had to learn to ask each other for cuddles because we realised that neither of us could read minds.
I think if you can get him to talk - tell him how you're feeling, admit to your own irrationality and other pregnancy madnesses that you're having. Try and laugh about some of your own moods so he can then feel comfortable about admitting to his own. He may be as scared as you, but it sounds as if his way of dealing with it is to be mean and insensitive to you as my partner was to me.
Your baby's nearly due so it would be great to sort it out now so you can concentrate on all the new exciting and scary things about parenthood together. We have a fabulous relationship now - I hope you sort yours quicker than we sorted ours.
Good luck. The children are definately worth it.
I felt exactly the same during my pregnancy. I tourchered my boyfriend beyond beliefe. Bless him.
I'd sit and try stir up an argument and I felt I wanted to leave him because of his lack of loving - 'he obviously doesnt love me'!!!. Althought the thought of life without him is unbareable.
My partner is so not a cuddly feely touchy type either so I know what your feeling.
Because I tourchered him he didnt want sex with me, he also didnt 'want to hurt the baby'. Lots of men are scared about hurting the baby.
You'll be glad he's there when the baby has arrived - trust me. I tried telling my partner I wanted more love and affection but its just not him im afraid - oh well I fell in love with him!!!
Try telling him you want more love see if you get any more than I did. I just went without!!!
Sorry I havnt been much help but just to let you know your not the only one that feels like this.
Good luck
Poopy
I'd sit and try stir up an argument and I felt I wanted to leave him because of his lack of loving - 'he obviously doesnt love me'!!!. Althought the thought of life without him is unbareable.
My partner is so not a cuddly feely touchy type either so I know what your feeling.
Because I tourchered him he didnt want sex with me, he also didnt 'want to hurt the baby'. Lots of men are scared about hurting the baby.
You'll be glad he's there when the baby has arrived - trust me. I tried telling my partner I wanted more love and affection but its just not him im afraid - oh well I fell in love with him!!!
Try telling him you want more love see if you get any more than I did. I just went without!!!
Sorry I havnt been much help but just to let you know your not the only one that feels like this.
Good luck
Poopy
1 to 3 of 3
Latest Posts
Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
Listener 4848 Return By Dysart
Crosswords3 mins ago
Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
Related Questions
Sorry, we can't find any related questions. Try using the search bar at the top of the page to search for some keywords, or choose a topic and submit your own question.