After reading others, here's my simular problem

[myles76]

After reading some of the other posts on here from befrank, yoshimoto and others
I thought I might as well get some advice about mine:

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 7 months, earlier this week we had a major argument whilst parked in her car.
After about 20mins id had enough and just let out a scream noise as if it to say, enough
Is enough, but no actual words.
Before I knew it my girlfriend, was saying that were over and that she cant be with anyone like me etc, and she called the whole relationship off.

Basically ive been trying all I can to get her back since, but she refuses to see me and just keeps saying that she cant trust me and is afraid of her safety around me. This is all a little worrying esp. as I would never lay a finger on her or ever harm a hair on her head.

But we have at least been talking on the phone, which I suppose is better than nothing. But she keeps saying that now she fears for her safety, and that's the reason she cant or wont see me, but she has asked for Christmas to be a break and that she wants the time to think and will be back in touch with me sometime between Christmas and new year.

What do I do next? Do I give her the time?

After talking to people about all of this, they keep saying that they believe that in the past someone might have hit her, and that my screaming might have bought back bad memories.

If this is the case, how do I convince her that I'm not like the guy that did do this to her?
(esp. if she won't see me)

Thanks, and i hope everyone has a good christmas (better than mine by the look of it).

[lady_p_gold]

Well all I can say is anyone who has never let out one of 'those screams' is a saint, that is a way of letting off all your pent up feeling and I would say that if she is refusing to see you just because of that then she is being very unreasonable, unless as you say she is comparing you to her past problem which is hardly fair, and if it is the case she should at least have the decency to sit and discuss it with you. Could it be that she wanted to end it anyway and is looking for an excuse ?? She will either realise she loves you and come back by herself, or .. if she doesn't then the relationship would have probably gone wrong in the end. Respect her wishes and give her space and then although it will be difficult over Christmas at least you will know where you stand and will have backed off with dignity, which is maybe what she is testing to see if you do. To be honest I don't really see what difference it makes to have a break as you are still the same person after Christmas, but perhaps she just wants to know that you will leave her alone if she asks as that will make her feel less 'threatened' if that is what she is feeling.

[bednobs]

what is up with all these women? they all seem mental, mental chicken oriental to me!

i really pity the three of you!

my advice would be to not speak with her when she deigns to contact you!

[sleeveless]

It's always sad when a relationship hits hard times especially around Christmas.
It may be that she is using the argument as an excuse myles76 and she just isn't sure about her feelings in which case it would be better to leave her alone for awhile. I'm quite sure she knows you wouldn't hit her as you've never even raised your hand to her before. Women are strange creatures bednobs .... best you don't try and understand them.
I hope things get sorted soon
Merry Christmas
Sherry x

[Le Chat]

myles, I think you are best to just leave her to get in contact with you as and whenever. Resist sending texts, phoning her, e mailing, messaging etc. If you have to turn your phone off to avoid temptation ....especially if you've had a couple of drinks!
You may find this helps!
Maybe you should ditch the funny scream noise in the future though......

[minnimoo]

i thought you were getting engaged.....remember your last few threads?????
To be honest your girlfriend is probably doing the right thing staying away, ive been in a relationship when my so called boyfriend hit me and nearly killed me, and with his ex. He also screeached alot and would make me scared. just leave her be, give her time, although a lepord never changes his spots, just his name!!!!!

[rugeleyboy]

what happened to this girlfriend then myles??

[prattler]

from what i have read here, you seem to have a problem with your temper, and i think most people would find that sort of behaviour threatening,especially in an enclosed space like a car as you say.i can only imagine what sort of fright you gave her, and might make her worry about what you'll do next.ishe has only known you a few months.f i were you i wouldnt give up just yet, just explain that you will try and deal with arguments in a different way in future and walk away to cool off if need be.let her mull over it, and if its meant to be, she'll give you another chance.

[BBWCHATT]

Myles - if you were my son, I would insist you start Anger Management immediately. I don't think you can look forward to any really successful relationships without that. Women have to be able to protect themselves - and more of them do that now - in the past, more of them stayed in abusive relationships until someone's anger escalated to the point of hurting them. Good luck honey, and please help yourself.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
from an old lady in Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

[meltoadhall]

if she has said its over then accept it and leave her alone.
maybe she is using this as the excuse she has been waiting for, maybe not, but screaming at a woman is not the way to keep her.