My boyfriend and his son

[alc2285]

I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 28 and he has a 7 year old son. His son is very rude, disrespectful and whiny to everyone. I try to just ignore it but it is starting to be real hard since we have been together for 1 year now. My boyfriend wont displine him. He says he don't want to be "mean daddy "since he gets his son everyother weekend. I tell him he has to start now displineing him before he gets much older and it starts to realy get out of hand. I have spoken with his sons mother and she agrees. I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please give me some advice.

[Miss-read]

Hi alc, looks like he is letting the son get away with things, as he is probably scared that if he does start to discipline him, then his son wont want to see him anymore.

My ex did this with his kids. (and they were a lot older) used to drive me mad. But you have spoken to him and the boys mother. So you are making the effort. If he doesnt start to discipline the boy now. Then in years to come. There will be trouble!
Good luck!x

[Solarjunkie]

Gving definite bounmdaries isn't being mean, it makes kids feel safe and loved. It sounds like the lad is looking for his boundaries, testing to see how far he can go.
Your bf should follow the rules set by the boy's mother, for things like table manners etc. Also, he is not too young to realise that slightly different rules apply in different houses - eg in some houses it is customary to leave shoes at the door, while in others shoes indoors are fine if they are clean.
The best way to win respect is to give it, for example thanking him for correct behaviour, not just scolding him for bad. It's easy to get annoyed when someone is making a noise while you are on the phone, but try thanking him for keeping quiet while you're on the phone (again just an example). He should find he doesn't need to play up to get attention if he gets attention anyway.
Honestly., it works!

[Ethel]

You haven't mentioned your feelings for this boy - do you like him?

If not, and you are at all resentful of the situation, get out now.

As hard as it may be, it will be a lot harder later.

If you do have feelings for him, and enjoy being a part of this family, then you will need to be strong with your boyfriend and help him to be the best parent he can.

[badgerchops]

If you get on well with the child's mother then ask her what discipline she gives at home so that you can reinforce the same rules at your house every other weekend. You need to follow her rules and this will also help your relationship. The kid id only 7 and excited to see his daddy once a fortnight. no matter how many rules in place he will always be partly hyper when in your care
Just simple rules like his mum will prove that the houses are combined in his care. he will feel more secure in this aswell.

Speak to your BF tho' to tell him you think simple matching rules with the mum is needed.