am i resposible for the cost of her funeral

[SCHUMI]

i am the oldest child work very hard. i do not speak to my mother and a friend told me the other day that her ultimate revenge on me will be the fact that i have to pay for her funeral.is this correct? i am horrified at that thought as i want nothing to do with her and don't intend to go to her funeral let alone pay for it.can someone please tell me where i stand legally and without the "but she is your mother" input.thankyou

[Ethel]

No you don't. If nobody volunteers to pay for it, it will come out of her estate.

If she has no assets then the state can seek to recover the monies from her next of kin, but this would not be your burden alone, especially if you have brothers and sisters.

[SizzleSquid]

Legally of course you don't. .

If she has no money/ assets in order to pay for her funeral then the local council will cover the cost. They may contact you to ask wether you will be wiling, however it is their obligation if you refuse.

But to remain bitter toward her after her death is pointless. Let it rest, she brought you in to the world and no matter whats she done to you at least you could help, not totally pay, to lay her to rest.

[bubblegum-31]

no matter what your mother has done i cant believe that you are talking like this its disgusting, i have two sons and i hope to god they never speak of me like this but then i know they wouldnt because..................they r decent.
wise up and show some respect

[SCHUMI]

for bubblegum 31. i asked for a question to be answered not a lecture on wisening up!!!! as you are a mother have you tried to maim your boys' father? or perhaps tried to break up your kids marriage? kept your wedding presents because she knew it would cause unknown trouble? have you or could you ever call your children b!*st!*!s and w!*r!*s in public? or what about the classic trying to get you sacked from your work because you wouldn't feed her other child because you as a mother couldn't be bothered?? no?? then i don't need a lecture. oh that just the tip would you like the really graphic history? for the other people that replied thankyou

[Ethel]

I am surprised some posters have been quick to judge Schumi.

We don't know the circumstances - not all parents are loving towards their children. Some are downright cruel and abusive, sadly.

[B00]

SCHUMI you don't have to justify yourself to anyone......

Not everyone's mum is all sweetness and life, and i'm sorry but sometimes the saying that "blood is thick than water" is a loads of codswallop.

Hope your question's been answered and your mind's been put at rest by the (nice!) replies.

Take care :-)

[JackDanielsU]

Well I feel the same way about my mother...havent spoken to her in 7 years, and dont intend to now or in the future, and my younger brother feels the same as well.

Dont feel pressurised by people like Bubblegum, all this she brought you into the world rubbish, is just a guilt-trip. said by people who dont know whats happened.

Best thing you can do is concentrate on your life, your kids etc..hopefully (as I hope I do) you will in time "forgive" her a bit

[bubblegum-31]

schumi, im sorry to hear about your past not that you had to explain it to me, i was only trying to state that i dont like people talking about their mothers this way but then again maybe that is because i love my mother and im a loving mother towards my kids. im sorry if i upset you and i know that alot of parents can be cruel and disgraceful. im just sorry to hear your mother is obviously one of them
im truly sorry

[l15a27]

forget the mother hating bit its about the funeral expences, no you will not have to pay if she has no estate they will have to give her a council funeral.....unless she has anyone who is in receipt of income support based social security benefit, then they would have to claim for funeral expenses
hope this puts your mind at ease
happy christmas and enjoy it !!

[SCHUMI]

thankyou for your responces and for the 2nd one bubblegum 31 sent.i do wish i had a mother that was loving and kind but like a few of you we don't have that luxury and it is embarrassing to admit to that..anyway i do have a wonderful dad and his mother, my grandmother has treated me like i was one of her own.she taught me proper family values and she was subjected to horrific abuse from my real mother that no old lady should have known. however apology gladly accepted and may i just say that continue to be a wonderful mother to your kids because she has missed out on so much of my life and that would be a shame for a true mother to loose.xx

[black bunny]

Schumi - I am glad that you had a father and a grandmother whom you loved and who obviously loved you, so although you did not have the kind of relationship every child SHOULD have from their mother, you have known love and affection from your family.
I wish you well, and hope you enjoy peace and contentment.
Black bunny x

[kristakool]

I totally understand where you are coming from here. My mother clearly had similarities to your's Schumi and it blights one's life. Like you too however I had a wonderful dad and grandma; without them I dread to think how my life would have turned out. My mother had a personality disorder which when diagnosed helped to mitigate her disgraceful, cruel behaviour. This doesn't help when you're growing up however. I'm glad your questions about the funeral have been answered. I just wanted to say that I understand totally your position. Good luck.