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Help!! I over analyse everything!

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Chrisadaj | 16:56 Sat 06th Jan 2007 | Body & Soul
5 Answers
Okay, I have this problem where I over-analyse every situation - I just think too much. I never used to be like this, it's got so bad now it's starting to get me down.

Just over a month ago I met the most amazing girl, we've been on a few dates, yet I'm so frightened I blow things, I end up analysing every detail of our relationship, including reading texts millions of times over.
When were not together and I get to thinking way too much I always think "No, she doesn't like me why would she?" it's not that I have a problem with myself or anything.

Has anyone else been through this? Can someone help and tell me how I can stop doing this as it's driving me insane :-(


Ps. I'm 25
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A couple of the sentences in your post suggest to me that you are lacking somewhat in self confidence and self belief. ( " No, she doesn't like me, why would she?" )
This in turn leads you to overanalyse things somewhat... or at least thats how your post reads.

Not sure what help I can offer... From somewhere you need to bolster your own sense of self worth ,I think. List all the positive things in your life... list your positive attributes, and memorise them.

Also remember that text messages can be subject to misinterpretation.. you don't have any facial expression or body language to help with the context... and text messages tend to be brief and hurried.
Yeah i totally agree with what Lazygun says. You might not think it but i think you do have a problem with your self confidence. Im exactly the same as you, analyse everything to the point i end up pushing people away by telling them they dont care when they do - then when they do go as ive pushed them so far, i end up thinking i was right all along - its such a viscious circle.
I think you really need to learn to love yourself, think of all the things you have to offer, maybe even try and ask (just drop into a conversation) the things she really likes you for and what attracted her to you from the start. Maybe hearing these things will help you understand what a good person you really are and understand why she likes you!
Good luck :)
god it sounds a bit like me i always think 2 much have i upset some one when i know really i have not . i always think the worse off everything .im sure i drive people away coz off it . i dont know how 2 deal with it 2 .so any help would be great
Hi Chrisadaj.
What you need to do about your immediate situation is to think of two possible outcomes, Number one, she likes you and wants to persue a solid relationship with you . Good! Number two, she isn't so into you (through no fault of your own - just the way it is) and does not want to continue the relationship. These are your possible endings ...and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. It is what it is.
Delete your read texts and delete your outbox. Delete your read e mail and your sent items. Decide to stop wasting your precious time and emotions on things that you have no ultimate control over.Everytime your mind starts to wander, start thinking about something else.(choose a subject beforehand) You are sabotaging yourself ...
Maybe this girl is special and you have strong feelings that are new for you. Try to enjoy the "first few months" feelings - they pass and they even out. In months to come, you'll feel calmer and more secure. Good luck.
I suggest you delete her texts as soon as you have read them, try to imagine she is a dumb blonde and cannot have any deep meanings to any of her words, accept her for what she is, nuts about you, and then be spontanious and send her a big bunch of roses just saying 'cos u are u' on the card.

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