Birds and the Bees

[Eve]

Following in from Panic Button's question what was your parents attitude to the birds and the bees, did they explain things to you, if so how, or was it a taboo subject as it was with mine. Did it have any impact on your sexual experience.

How did you learn the most about the birds and the bees, friends, magazines, experience (good or bad) etc...

If you have children how have you broached it with them, at what age and how? Do they get any sexual education in school or such?

What do you think about the increased access young people have to sex these days through their peers, the media inc magazines, schools and services and the increased sexualisation of children's clothing in the shops, the fact we have such a high teenage pregnancy rate...

[Katie~77]

All my Mum said to me was "Stay away from boys, they'll get you pregnant. If you come home pregnant, I'll break every single bone in your body!" That was pretty much it from my parents.x

[Goodsoulette]

Although you guys will probably never believe this, my mum gave me the english version of this book when I was 5, you get the jist without speaking German. I have done the same with my 5 yr old using this version, he is well aware that sex is for mummies and daddies and is something sopecial now, but still thinks its gross. I used it to explain making babies, I caught him and his cousin discussing sex and when I said to J, sex is making babies, he looked at Fred and said its gross not funny ( they thought they were talking about something different)...

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

[Katie~77]

lmao at the picture of the baby being born! The father and doctor look about as useful as a chocolate tea pot!x

[zimzam]

I remember when I was about 7 asking my parents where babies came from and this was at a time we were all having dinner sat at the table. My Father asked me to tell them what I knew and so I did. When I finished my Mother said "nothing else to tell you as you seem to know all about it" and my Father said "don't get yourself pregnant until you get married one day" Embarrasingly , when I was dating my first real serious boyfriend when I was 14 my Father gave me a durex to carry in my bag........ my parents and I never had that birds and bees conversation ever again.

[mycats]

My mum was always very open. I remember asking her what sperm was once, (because there was a story on the news about mens sperm counts getting lower) and she told me in detail, I was horrified lol.
Whenever I asked a question she explained everything.
I'm the same with my son and the subject doesnt bother him at all.
I do think it is our responsibiolty as parents to make sure our children know the facts.
My mum nev er said "wait till you are married" or "sex is dirty" she said "never do anything unless YOU want to" and "make sure you feel totally comfortable with them, preferably be able to laugh with them".

[noxlumos]

Nothing from my mother whatsoever ( my dad was dead before any issues cropped up). I never asked her as we had a bad relationship anyway, but me and my mates copped off with some older girls at about 12, so that sorted that out.
My own kids I have brought up from birth understanding the mechanisms of biology, so that it's, in effect, such a matter of fact topic that hardly any questions are ever asked about it and when they are there's no embarassment from either parent or child. It does help that we have animals which they've seen being born and bred but I can't imagine why anyone waits until their kids are teenage to teach them what are the very rudiments of life. They need this information very early so they have a complete understanding and don't either jeopardise themseleves or worse still allow anyone else to.
My kids are very clear about how their bodies work and that their body belongs to them and them alone and that no-one else ever has any rights over it except them. I hope this goes a long way to counteracting the low self esteem that seems very prevalent in some teenagers and leads to early pregnancy and sexual abuse in some cases. I think this lack of self esteem and good factual education is why this country has such a disastrous record of early pregnancy.

[Eve]

Thank you for al your answers so far, interesting to see the differences and how people now deal with their children's sexual education x

[calcovin]

My father's attitude was "Oh, that's girl stuff, talk to your mother ". My mother always said " When the time is right you know about it" Prior to having my first cycle I asked what a 'period' was. She gave her usual answer. Less than a year later at 10 I spent all day at school fearing I was dying because I couldn't stop the blood flow. When I got home I told her "I think I hurt myself". She said, "What do you mean?" I explained. Her response was "Its your period, your a young lady now" .

As a result of that I was scared of boys, daddy, cousins and uncles for years.

My parents told me after I graduated from High School I could have a boy friend . I was not interested.

I met someone older by 26 years who taught me after earning my trust.

When I had my daughter I made up my mind to be honest with her and explain the facts. At 4 years old she asked me "Mama, what happened to my wiggly worm?" She walked in the boys toilets by mistake. I explained the correct names, explained that she never had one. God made boys and girls in a special but different way for when they grow up. She was relieved .

At 7 her chest started changing. She was hiding from me. She said "You might not like me anymore if I tell you". I told her, I will always love her, no matter what. Although she may disappoint me at times, she could talk to me anytime.
I said, that God made the human body beautiful and she was the way she was supposed to be. Showing children her chest, I told her that the human body is beautiful but private.

School does teach some sexual education, but parents have a responsibility to try to answer their questions, see that their modestly dressed; set up security on computers, talk to them regularly about school, bad and good associations and above all try to practice what you preach.