Are you Born Gay

[Donkey]

Do people on here believe that from day one you are born gay or is it something that you can control.. like taking him shooting or millwall football matches from a youg age

[andy hughes]

I believe that sexuality is inherent from birth, but manifests itself at puberty. the debate about a 'cause' of homosexuality has been conducted for a long time now, with no result. I do believe that society has an inherant fear of concepts it does not inderstand - this being one aspect of that fear. I don't think adopting 'masculine' behaviour traits makes an ounce of difference - my father raised me as though I was in the army in an attept to 'toughen me up'. It totally failed, but had no discerable effect on my sexuality, I am heterosexual, but I'd rather go shoppping than shooting, and I used to take the children out so my wife could watc the FA Cup Final in peace! There are no 'rules', or indeed 'cures', humankind is far too complex for such simplistic notions.

[WoWo]

I would suggest that the amount of pressue on all young people from a very young age to conform to the normal social rules would suggest that it is very much a case of being born gay. There are plenty of cases of gay people getting married to a member of the opposite sex and then deciding that it was a bad idea and then comming out, this would suggest strongly that its not a simple matter of choice but something a bit deeper.

[jills]

be interested to see what any gay ABers felt about this?

[smudge]

A nephew of mine is 50 yrs of age & has never dated a girl, so I would say he's been 'gay' since birth. Over the years, there have been a few titters within our extended family about him, but we have all come to accept that he is homosexual & nothing could change that. He is a very loving, kind, intelligent person. He is a musician & travels the world entertaining people. He has been in a very long standing relationship with a professional man. Neither of them go out of their way to 'appear' gay, like some & they've never harmed anyone. He is probably on the same lines as Dirk Bogarde, who many people did not even know was 'gay' until after he died. So best to leave well alone.

[moggyday]

the idea that all gay men have grown up with overbearing mothers who incouraged "feminine" behaviour like dressing up and singing is false lots of gay men grow up doing lots of sport and plenty of other manly activites. many gays also have to go through the traumatic experience of growing up in an environment which is very predujiced towards homosexuality this can be very damaging.

[smudge]

Well said moggyday!

[christina801]

Yes, i do think that gay people are born gay. Why would anyone choose to be gay with all the negative treatment that they get from society? My husband's brother is gay, no one else in his family is gay. Well he says he's bi but I think he's gay because he's never had a girlfriend. I think he says he's bi because in his mind it probably makes the situation seem less worse or something. I dont know. But, I have alot of respect for gay people, since they got to put up with all the crap that closed-minded people give them.

[ALEXbian]

i was born gay.. it's really not a choice, cos who in their right mind would choose to be "secondclass" citizen and be ridiculed.. also not buying the, in the case of gay men, overprotecting mothers. that's the same as saying all lesbians were molested and are therefore unable to trust men.. or even better that they were raised by single mothers so they only ever saw a female role model.. c'mon people, we come further than that..

[sylviak]

no its not a a choice. you sound like it could be your son. you should accept what he is and not try to enforce manly pastimes as a way to erase his sexuality

[sylviak]

very well put alexbian. you go !!

[Donkey]

Right this might p**s some people off but what I mean is .. I have been going Millwall for a long time and lots of Millwall supporters, support the club because they have been taken there by their fathers from a young age ( not because the team is doing well but because they are born into that team ).. so far I have never come across a gay one.. Ok you might say how do you know .. Well ok maybe I don't know for sure but I know I have never seen a camp supporter... Now all im saying is if I was to go to the local choir im sure 60% would be gay or camp.. now is it just that these people have all met up together and gone there or is it because it is more accepted there or is it because they have grown up going there and not to football... Now you can all shout at me !!