loo trained three year old, but hes started wetting himself...

[thingummyjig]

hi our three year old son was very good at going to the loo when ever he needed it. His training was a doddle; he wasnt pushed, I let him do things at a pace which suited him, and from approx 2and a half he was completely out of nappies. The day he stopped needing nappies in the daytime he told us he didnt want one on at bedtime and we've only had three wet beds in a year. However he has recently started wetting and pooing himself. It's usually in the bathroom right next to the loo. I dont know if he's getting so engrossed in playing etc, and leaves it too late, he's also done this a few times at playschool, where he attends part-time, and with other kids who still wear nappies. What can i do to encourage him to return to his normal routines?

[yinyang]

Hi thingummyjig. The very first question I ever asked on Answerbank was very similar to this so you're not alone.
When my daughter was three she started not only having accidents but being moany, easy to cry, clingy etc. I'd love to give you a cut and dry solution but in our case she went to bed one night, slept straight through for 16 hours and woke up in the morning her old self again with no more accidents from then on in!
Has your son just started playgroup? If so , the new surroundings may be enough to knock him out of his routine. As you said, getting engrossed with toys is very common. Ask him every now and again if he needs to go, even along the lines of ' remember to tell mummy if you need the toilet' may be enough to make him realise that he does need to go. Ask the playleaders to do the same.
The best advice I can give you is the old parenting cliche - it's just a phase. I know it can be incredibly frustrating ( my girl was getting close to being left in the woods to be raised by squirrels) but it might end as suddenly as it begins - and then something else will take it's place! : )

[thingummyjig]

many thanks for your reply yinyang! I've just taken him to school, where he's been settled in for almost a year now, and the after-school lady has told me he gets very upset when the older children come in. (obviously they are quite boisterous at the end of their school day and want to use up their energy, whereas my son, being only 3, wants to kind of wind down! Now i feel guilty for being a working mum! (thankfully its only two full days a week.) He has only been going to after school club for about 5 weeks so I think I've found the reason. Now to find an solution! Once again, many thanks.

[yinyang]

Glad to help.
Is it possible that one of the older children has told him something that might freak him out - you know the daft things kids say like ' there's a big spider in that toilet that'll bite you if you sit down'? Sounds ridiculous to us grown ups but mught explain why he's going to the bathroom but not using the toilet.
Never feel guilty about being a working mum. If you enjoy your job then your son will get so much more out of a happy fulfillled mum. Enjoy the time you spend with him and think of the valuable socialising skills he's getting at the club. x