Would you stick by your boyfriend if he was in prison?

[mmsh]

I'm 26 and have been going out with my g/f for 2 years. I had been in a bit of trouble in the pst but she knew about that and things have been OK. A couple of months ago I was charged with ABH after getting into a fight and am in court soon. As I've got a suspended sentence from before I've been told to expect prison but it'snot definite. She says she doesn't know if she'll be able to stand by me if I get sent down and that's an extra worry for me now as I could cope better if the worse happens if I know she is there.

Do you think you would stand by your partner in that situation?

[ummmm]

Yes, I would

[Ethel]

No. But then I wouldn't want to be with a man who gets into rucks like that.

[E B]

When a woman loves a man, then they stand by them.

Me personally, and in your given situation - if I loved someone I would stand by them, I would not be happy with them for such behavior and would not condone it. I would suggest anger management to help control such out bursts to help prevent this from happening again, and I would hope that the man I loved would love me enough to do this, so that we could be together and not separated by imprisonment.

[makemesmile]

If would depend on the charge, why it was done, how I and my boyfriend felt about it, and what my boyfriend was going to do to make sure it never happened again.

I don't agree with violence, and would not tolerate living with a violent man.

I used to love a man who turned out to have a massive drink problem. I ended the relationship as he was not ready to face up to his demons. Was I wrong not to stand by him?

We are all responsible for our own happiness. I chose to find happiness elsewhere. And I've never regretted my decision. He is still a drunk. Whilst I'm sorry for him, I'm now in a very happy marriage. But it could have been a very different story had I not made that decision.

I'm sorry for your situation. But what are you doing to prevent any further trouble?

[alijangra]

If it was the same charges as you, then yes most definately.

[CATWOMAN23]

I was in a relationship for about 7 years and my partner at the time was in and out of jail months at a time! I was by his side everytime! I was inlove with him and my biggest concern was making sure he had his girl and a home to come to! thats not really cool of her to leave you hanging now !

[makemesmile]

You've been charged with Actual Bodily Harm. Are you able to explain just how bad the harm was?

[carlyo2le]

i defo would i think if you love someone then nothing would matter as long as your still together, ask your self how much she really loves you!

[makemesmile]

I'm sorry to say there are somethings I wouldn't put up with.

To love someone I need to respect them first, and if they've done something that goes against my principles/moral code, then I'm not sure love will last.

Sorry if this sounds a bit high and mighty, but I have too much respect for myself than to settle for someone I can't respect.

[nicnic]

To be honest, you need to ask your girlfriend what it is that is bothering her. Is it the fact you'll be in prison, or is it perhaps that she doesn't want to be with someone who has obviously commited what some would say is a 'serious' crime.

I know that my boyfriend would be very unlikely to do something like this, but whether i would stick by him would depend on the circumstances for example what exactly happened, was it in self defence etc? However, consider for a moment that you already have a suspended sentence, you could have taken this as a warning and if it was me, i would not be able to be with someone who has done this once already and learned no lessons.

Also consider the idea of you being in prison - no one knows yet how long yoru sentence will be for. Put yourself in her place, could you really handle being alone that long and the idea of her being in prison. Say for instance, you get a 5 year sentence, 5 years is a lot of your life to waste waiting for someone, especially if you're not sure you're the one.

if she isn't prepared to wait for you, maybe she isn't Miss right and on your release from Prison, she may be wating for you and you can make a new start and perhaps have learned something on the way.

[yummymum]

hate to sound harsh but you said yourself that you have been in trouble in the past, how can she be sure this isnt the last time? Why should she spend her life waiting for someone who is likely to repeat history

Do you really expect this girl to spend part of her life waiting for you? If she was to wait for you then she is going to spend the time unhappy and alone, it was you that did wrong and is looking at a prison sentance, why should she get one to?

maybe you need to change the question..Should you let her go and carry on with her life like she deserves? and maybe when you get out you can sort things out and prove you hae changed.

Good luck xx

[louisem06]

i would... well i have my fella has been inside for twelve months now and i'll still be with him in 6 months when he comes home! good luck luv xx

[mycats]

How much trouble have you been in in the past? are you gonna get in trouble in future?
I got sick of waiting for my ex everytime he got jailed, I even spent 2 christmas alone.
f you love hetr and dont want to lose her stop getting bloody arrested

[mmsh]

This will definitely be the only time I'll be looking at prison. Knowing that I'm probably going has changed thinks totally for me.

I hadn't been in any trouble in over a year since the time I got the suspended sentence for asssault - just common assault. Before that I had community service for criminal damage and had been in court for driving without insurance.

I'm probably looking at 18 months or so - nothing like 5 years unlessthings go very badly.

[makemesmile]

mmsh - I hope things go well for you.

Please learn from your mistakes - violence only leads to more violence.

And whilst I understand life might be more bearable knowing that someone is waiting for you, the best rock on which to re-build your life would be you own - not someone elses.

Get through this for yourself, be strong and vow to make positive changes in your life. This will get you through more hard times than any girlfriend can.

Good luck x

[sarnieken]

Forgive my comments but considering your 'history' with the law, you're saying that you will change but it seems likely that you can't or won't.
This may sound harsh but it is the same thought that must be going through your gf's mind right now.
Consider what she is thinking. Did you tell her you would change after the Common assault charge? Or the insurance one?
If you did then she will be feeling betrayed and lied to. That is more likely the reason she is considering not standing by you?
I hope I am wrong, gd luck anyway.

[campari]

No chance. She'd be a fool to. You obviously have a problem with violence. You say you have been in trouble before and had the audacity to say 'JUST' common assault, I wonder if the person you assaulted would say that. You didn't learn your lesson and have gone on now to be charged with actual body harm. What next? How long would it be before she was on the receiving end. She should run a mile.