Some thing to think about for all you single girls!

[Hellion]

I've just met up with an old school friend for coffee and her story made me think, so I though t I'd pass on this little bit of wisdom.... it might make you think! When she was at school she went out with and later married the 'geek' boy. She got teased a lot when she was at school about him, bit of a swot and not very trendy. Everyone fancied the school bad boy - good looking, charming, smoked, used to sneak to the pub even although underage, always had a different girl in tow - you know the sort.

Well, about 3 weeks ago the 'bad boy' died of drink related illnesses having never made anything of himself, his good looks had been ravaged by drink and smoking and he was a bloated overweight man who most women wouldn't have looked twice at. He'd flitted from relationship to relationship and never held down a proper job.

My friend however now lives in a fab house, has her own lovely car, 3 gorgeous kids, holidays 3 times a year, has wonderful clothes etc. Her 'geek' husband has turned into a bit of a swan and is now a very attractive, trendy 40 something man who has his own computer business and always gets a second look from the ladies! She certainly had the last laugh as she is the most well off of all the girls I was at school with and very happy to boot!!!

Makes you think doesn't it? Perhaps you might want to give 'geek' boy a second look!!

[Champagne]

If only life were that simple, Hellion. Time and place can be a big contributing factor in what kind of person you want in your life.

I've never been drawn to men with money, & i'm not too fussed about ever being married, so although she's found her 'swan', it doesn't sound too appealing to me!

[redcrx]

LOL, all the 'geeks' on here will be running off to see if the have any messages from 'friendsreuinted'.

Nice story but dont you think it was just because he was her soulmate. Youd have to be attracted to someones personality for it to work, regardless of what they looked like or what future prospects they had work wise. Im sure she is happy with her fella regardless of his income and lifestyle.

[dot.hawkes]

maybe the school badboy had his heart btoken by the girl he lost to the geek.

[Champagne]

I feel quite sad for the school bad boy actually. For him to be tagged as the 'bad boy' from such a young age, then to drink himself to death, he must've had a seriously messed up life. It's a shame he didn't find someone who might inspire him to make positive changes eh? :o(

[Hellion]

I was thinking of it more that when girls are young often the good looking bad boy is what they go for but later that can turn around, while some boys blossom later and turn in to very attractive men. The fact that my friends husband also made a lot of money is not really part of it, that was a bonus, but ironically some of the girls who at sixteen teased her, because they though a boyfriend with a car etc was much more cool, are now rather envious and would give their eye teeth to be chatted up by her husband!

[WendyS]

I think this story also reflects personal values in that your friend was attracted to an individual whose values and aspirations coincided with her own. It's a sad fact that many of us are emotionally immature in our teenage years. Our parents protect us from many of life's harsher realities so we're not necessarily able to exercise our own sensible judgement with the benefit of hard-learned experience. The bird who sings the loudest to attract a female mate is not necessarily the most reliable bird, once he has caught her,often deserts the nest and its youngsters. sometimes the human species doesn't seem very different.!

[Hellion]

Actually Champers the story of the bad boy is very sad, I remember him at school and I have to say that he never gave me a second look or spoke to me while we were there, he hung out with all the trendy girls ( I always danced to my own tune so I never was in with the in crowd lol). In the last few years though I met him several times as he was a friend of a friend and he always chatted when we met. whereas a lot of peopel started crossing the street to avoid him. Very sad that such a hugely popular boy just threw it all away and became such a sad case.

[Champagne]

Well that's fair enough. A lot of people blossom from how they were at school. I was a skinny, sporty tomboy when I was a kid and didn't really blossom until my mid-20's when I gained my confidence.

And i've never liked the bad boys. I always tend to go for the nice 'boy next door' types. They all turned out to be a waste of time too! hahahahaha!

[Champagne]

I hear you, Hellion. I've always been my own person too and never cared about being part of the 'in crowd'. A trait which I have to this day.

Strangely though, my last boyfriend was actually the 'bad boy' from school. We met up by chance years later, and although we never really knew each other from school we did actually hit it off. He's still a bad boy (drink & drugs) but I gave it a chance anyway because I'd realised that 'nice boys' weren't always what they seemed either. Needless to say we're over now because he cheated on me. He's going to drink himself into an early grave too. Very, very sad story there.

[Miss Inquiry]

I've been out with my fair share of bad boys and have now found a so called good guy, and couldn't be happier. Lots of my friends seem to love a bad boy (admittedly until I was 25 my type seemed to be the older guy, drug dealing, drinking, party animal, with a hard attitude and "respect" around our town, and generally pretty medioca jobs they never stuck at). The bad boys never tend to be too reliable, loyal and really depend on thier good looks, rather than their personality, however, on reflection I would not change a thing, it's made me who I am and taught me valuable lessons about life, and taught me to really respect and love the relationship I have with my good guy.

[spudqueen]

I met and married my 'geek' a few years after school. In my teens I admit I was drawn to the 'pretty' boys, often from the 'wrong side of town'. But in my twenties I met (and later married) the man who is now Mr Spudqueen. A couple of years earlier and I wouldn't have looked at him twice I suppose, but I got to know him as we hung out with the same crowd of friends, friendship blossomed into love, and we've been married 17 years now. He was still at college when we met, doing a Phd, was into completely different music to me (still is!) and certainly didn't dress trendily. Now he's very successful in what he does (still not got the 'big' house, but that's not important to us), and I've improved his dress sense. He's a great bloke though, great sense of humour, trustworthy, loyal and romantic. Maybe those were the qualities your friend saw in her husband.

[Jay70]

I think this proves that from your statements such as 'he was a bloated overweight man who most women wouldn't have looked at twice' and ' her geek husband has turned into bit of a swan' does back up most peoples suspicions that most women are rather shallow. But of course it does prove that your friend isn't and is reaping the reward for not being so.

[raysparx1]

Hello Helli, it does make you think, this is going off tangent a bit,
I heard from an old schoolfriend of mine that a lad that was one of my best mates at school had died last year, found in a bedsit about 2 months after he had died, he had choked on his own vomit, he was an alcoholic, he had also been inside for bank robbery, armed robbery and a few other offences, he lost his wife and family through his drink, yet I only have good memories of him, he was a smashing lad,really thoughtfull, helped me out lots of times, i felt so sad when I heard, there wasn't even enough money to give him a proper funeral, so I have asked the lady who told me, to find out where he was buried and I will pay for a headstone, there but for the grace of god helli, it really is. xx

[Hellion]

I think that's what I'm trying to say really Jay, and that's being backed up by what everyone else has said - when girls are young they are a bit shallow and looks and image are more important than 'content' what we are all trying to say is often our eventual Mr Right is someone we wouldn't have looked twice at at school!

Hi Ray - that really is a sad story and it so typical of you that you would do something so kind as to arrange for a headstone for him. All most of us ask is that when we are gone someone will remember us kindly, you're a good friend to be able to do that for him.
Hellion X

[Hellion]

By the way Jay I can assure you I am definitely not shallow!!!

[Octavius]

My best friend at school was very popular, a bit of a bad boy - always sneaking to the pub and for a ciggie (or something stronger) and often leading me astray. He was very good looking and intelligent. Funny and outgoing and very sociable. He was always being followed around by the girls but never really had time for any of them, too busy having fun. He is now very wealthy and rich in life and happily married to a man called Steve.

The geek of the school is now a computer programmer who has never had a girlfriend and lives alone in a flat in East London. He is skinny, still got some spots and his hair is a bit greasy sometimes. He spends his time playing on his X-Box or surfing internet chat rooms looking for someone to love. In fact, he might even be an ABer.

So if anyone is interested in a date, I will let him know. And if that doesn�t persuade you, he never goes out and therefore has thousands of pounds saved in the bank to spend on that special lady.

[Champagne]

Hahahahahahaaaa!!!! Scarily enough, I think that could be the guy i'm going on a date with next Wednesday!! hahaha!!

:o|

[Octavius]

In that case I am sure you could wear what you like, he won�t notice.