told lies too a guy i talk to on the internet and now he wants too meet me

[minnie1974]

I've been texting and talking too a wonderful guy offline for two years, i've really got close too this guy and he wants too meet me next week, which would be fantastic under normal circumstances but i've lied too him about myself, firstly i sent him a photo of someone else because im not at all attractive, secondly he dosent know im in an unhappy marriage and thirdly he thinks i only have one child. i really dont want too hurt by telling him the truth altho i know honesty is the best policy, but whatever i decide im going too hurt him, if i tell him the truth about myself it'll hurt him, if i cut him out of my life i'll hurt him, im hurting too now because i'd love too meet him, bu i no that is now not an option, i know im an idiot for lying just never expected for things to progress this far, please help someone im in turmoil

[steve2010]

just tell him the truth

[ummmm]

You have mentioned your two options.....you either own up and tell the truth or you put off ever meeting him.

If he is that nice he will understand why you lied about certain things. The trouble is...when you talk to someone on the internet or by text and they think they know what you look like they probably have a mental picture of you everytime the receive a meaasge from you. Two years is a long time to have a picture of someone in your head that isn't really that person......

Also....does he know you are married? That is one thing that could make someone run a mile.

Maybe try telling the truth gradually....over time....so he doesn't think you are a complete liar, and explain to him why you lied about each individual thing as and when you own up. It might take a while though....because you will have to regain his trust in between each own up....

[ummmm]

That has got to be the longest answer I have ever typed....usually mine are like steve's

[sleepyj]

he might have told you lies to about hes self .

[raysparx1]

minnie, you already know he is going to feel hurt, but as sleepy says,he may have lied as well, but assuming he told the truth, you will either have to put him off and keep the fantasy going or tell him the truth, if you truly do like him I think you should come clean about how it has spiralled out of control, I don't know what ummmm looks like, but I like her a lot, she is very sweet, so I really am not worried what she looks like, what I am saying is, you might be surprised at his reaction, he must like the way you write to him, or he would have dropped contact by now, so it is up to you but at the moment you are living a lie and that is no good, so tell him,ask him if he would like a picture of the real you, then take it from there, you owe him that much, good luck, Ray xx

[ummmm]

awww.....Ray is such a sweetie xxx

[snagged]

poor, misguided ray... ;o( ;o)

[ummmm]

Oi.....I know you luv me really

[raysparx1]

Oi you two, get a room for gawds sake, :0))

ummmmmy I just re-read your answer, it was a really good bit of advice.

[ummmm]

Say hello on msn Ray and I will show you what I look like....

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i wouldnt meet him untl you have told him the truth. If you dont do it now, you will regret it. He likes this person you have portrayed yourself as. He may still like you after you tell him the truth. But dont meet him, etc and let him find out its all been lies. Thats the worst thing that could happen...

[joko]

you could say you hadn't expected to develop such a meaningful friendship online so you saw no harm in 'embellishing' the truth, lots of people do that so you thought it was the 'done thing', and the trouble with lies is it becomes harder and harder to tell the truth as time goes on.

be honest with him - you owe him that.
if he decides not to meet you then, he obviously is not right for you anyway.

but don't assume he will not like you and so cut him off - you owe it to him to allow him to decide that for himself, not you making the decision for him.

it seems you have been economical with the truth rather than created a whole new person and made up a load of outrageous lies and fantasy.

to be honest they seem like pointless lies (except the marriage one) i mean, why only one child? what difference does that make?

just tell the truth

[nadcookie]

you should just tell him the truth he'll be hurt either way at least if you start telling him the truth now you wont have to lie to him anymore and if he is as nice as you say he will understand but hurt but get over it eventually