catch 22 situation

[confused79]

can anyone advice/help me. to cut a long story short..... i split from my husband in 2005, we own a home together, (both our names on mortgage and both work). he moved out i stayed in home with our 3 children, have been paying mortgage on my own for well over a year. Not had penny from him. Going through a divorce which is seperate to this problem. I want to re-mortage as i have some debt that has built up as of our split. I have already been accepted to a mortgage in my name, my husband wont easily agree to come off mortage without a ridulous payoff payment. Ican only afford to pay him off with �7,500 with the mortgage i can get which is at a push for me as i only earn 17k. Now i want to take it to court as he wont agree (although is not contributing to the mortgage atall) as all i want to do i secure a future for my childern without getting my home repossesed which may happen if i dont sort this out. Ive applied for legal aid and been told i dont qualify as i also get tax credits to help pay for my childminder etc. So now only thing i can think of doing is taking him to court myself (representing myself) but i dont have first clue how to do this and so desperatly need to do something and soon. i just cannot afford the costs for my solicitor to take him to court about this. Someone please help ive been everywhere for advice including citizens advice and no one seems to know what is best for me. Sorry for the war and pease question its only way i can explain my situation.

[ali_alic]

Do what I dod (tho it was for my stepsons traffic offence). Look up in the yellow pages, Thompsons etc for solicitors and you will find that a lot of them give you the first interview free. It lasts half an hour and can be jolly useful. I went into the meeting with a pen and notepad and a list of all the facts and questions that I wanted to ask. Needless to say I felt confident standing up in Court and speaking on behalf of him. It got thrown out of court - not just because I'm a clever so and so but because the cops had really no leg to stand on which was indicated to me in that interview. Otherwise we would probably meekly have accepted it. You may even find 2 solicitors and get both of their opinions - tho obviously your situation is much more complex. But at least they can tell you what your chances are!!

[lady_p_gold]

If you are both working then why is he not paying some of the mortgage or contributing in any way to the expenses of the children ? Don't be in a rush to get him off the mortgage he is just as responible for paying it. The trouble is that without a solicitor you are not able to fight in the way you should, but if you just managed to scrape together enough then he would have to pay you maintenance, you might not have to sell the house and you should also find that you would be awarded more than 50% of the equity of the house. I do not know the full details but it really sounds as if you are selling yourself really short. What about his pension, what about his assets, all of which are marital property and to which you are entitled to have a share. After all it is you who have the children to care for. You are the one in the much stronger position and you might be able to get some advice from the CAB. You say you are going through a divorce which is separate but why is it separate to the problem, surely your divorce settlement is the major thing which will secure the future for your children.

[confused79]

Exactly what everyone says, why is he not paying towards the mortgage, well becuse he thinks he can just walk away from giving me any money atall, i have asked him numerous times for help and that its his name too on mortgage and he just wont pay me a penny. i wouldnt mind but he is now living with someone in rented accommodation. He still sees our children one day a week, as i wont use the fact he gives me nothing to stop him seeing them. I do have a solicitor but she can only act for me now regarding the mortgage as i cannot afford to take him to court regarding getting him off the mortgage so i can re-mortgage. This is all why i feel its a catch 22 situation and no one will help me.
ive been to CAB they didnt know what to do, apart from taking him to court myself, which yeah i wil be willing to do, but i just dont know where to start!
my solicitor said she cannot help with financial side of things unless i am able to pay which i cannot now so what can i do????

[confused79]

i meant she can only act for me now regarding the divorce, not the mortgage sorry but its getting to me now.

[lady_p_gold]

Well I have a friend who was in a similar position and she put all the legal fees on a credit card knowing she would get a payout at the end. It was not easy but its possible. If you got a solicitor he would have to pay you some maintenance before the divorce, and then you could do it all properly, separation agreement and then settlement. Could you not borrow the money - or if I were you I would stop working and get legal aid, because the money you are earning and the tax credits, is going to be a lot less than what you are losing by not going down this road. It will be hard for a while but is it worth losing your home ???