Friends of the opposite sex

[Karen2005]

Does your partner have a friend of the opposite sex that

a) isn't gay
b) they have met more recently than you have been together as a couple (ie, they are not old school friends, neighbours, work colleagues etc).

If so, how do you feel about their friendship?

[Presario]

Nope. My ex hated that I made male friends while I was at uni tho...

[cartman99]

Oh, good question no they don't and I have not been in that position.

I would be keen to meet and befriend them, but i would be on my guard untill I was clear of everyone intentions.

I wouldn't let that show though.

[browneyedgir]

I met a guy who I like to think is a friend of mine the same night I met my boyfriend. Probably not relevant to your question Karen2005 though as I "dated" him before actually dating my boyfriend if that makes any sense!

My boyfriend at first was ok with me still being mates with 1st guy but now we have got more serious finds it a real problem. Basically he can't understand why I want to still be in contact with 1st guy as it is not as though we had a "history" really what with me meeting them both on same day (for the record started dating my boyfriend a month after we met) but the thing is I really like him (1st guy) as a mate.

I would say that 90% of my friends are male (with probably half of these being ex boyfriends) and my current boyfriend has no problem with that at all.

I am sure I have not answered your question but thought I would attempt to!

[Karen2005]

Thanks for your answers. Don't want to go into the ins and outs of it here, but that has helped a bit. Looking forward to some more replies....

[Dusty Bin]

My partner does not have a friend of the opposite sex, but i do.

Does that count?

[newtron]

A couple of years ago, my wife and I ended up in a long distance relationship. She was in the US and I was going to school in the UK. Shortly after she moved to the US, she started spending a lot of time with a guy who she worked with and was also her land lord. I admit I didn;t like it, but I was just happy that she had a friend. I have returned to the US and am reunited with her now. She is still very good friends with this guy. He's a nice guy, but I still am not completely comfortable with their friendship. It may have something to do with my first wife cheating on me. Anyway, I have asked her if I had anything to worry about, and she said no. I realize that I have to trust her. I don't want to turn into a jealous husband who does not trust his wife. You can't have a fullfilling relationship without trust. I have voiced my concern recently and she is now putting more effort into communicating with me and making sure that I am alright with her going out doing things with him. She also always invites me along. I appreciate the effort, and I think things are going to OK. I guess we'll see.

[Fiszi]

I've never had a problem with guys I've been with being friends with the opposite sex. Sometimes I single out someone as a threat though but mostly this is just me being jealous. I've found there is often a little something in it, like one likes the other in a bit more than a friendly way but it doesn't mean anything will happen.

It works both ways. I have male friends and frequently meet new guys and become friends. I'd hate a guy telling me I couldn't see someone. In fact I'd tell him where to go. At the end of the day you're in a relationship with that person and they either choose to be with you, or they'll leave you for their friend. You can't stop them, even if you ban them from seeing each other so there is no point in worrying till that time. There is nothing you can do.

[manik_kat]

my boyfriend's best friend is a girl who he cheated on his last girlfriend with and they still see a lot of each other. I know this situation sounds horrible and for a long time I was very paranoid and jealous of their past, but recently I've realised how much I have in common with this girl and how in any other circumstances she'd be one of my closest friends. My boyfriend has made it clear to me that I'm the one he cares most about, and so has she as she told me last night that she cares more about being my friend than having him as 'just some guy'.

You just need to be rational, I have male friends that I#m sure make my boyfriend nervous sometimes but if your relationship is so shakey that you can only have same sex friends then you need to reevaluate things.

[Huderon]

She doesn't have a friend like that, and if she did it wouldn't bother me in the slightest because I know I can trust her completely.

Doesn't work the other way round though ! I do have a good friend of teh opposite sex, and if I mention that I'm going to meet her for coffee I can almost see what my partner is thinking, even though she doesn't actually say anything anti