The question is too simplistic. Men are not always the bad guys, nor a women always long suffering saints. People are entitled to a bit of happiness do you not think? I personally prefer honesty but I can see occasions when having an affair would be preferable to the fallout you might get from some people. My friends wife wasderanged , made his life a misery and threatened to kill herself if he ever left, is it small wonder he had an affair? When he did finally leave, she did try to kill herself, he felt guilty (unnecessarily she was a nasty manipulative piece of work imho) and everyone thought he was the bad guy and sympathised with her. Not everything is black and white, but be honest where you can.