Am I too demanding physically of my partner?

[oceanauk]

I have recently started a new relationship with a fantastic man. I've been on my own for six years, i'm 36 and he's 42. He is my soul mate. Everything has been fab and eventually we took our relationship to a physical level. However, now my sex drive is returning and I'm going beserk! I seem to want it all the time and recently my partner lost his errection. I have no idea why and he said he didn't either but was obviously embarrassed. It has now happened everytime and is becoming a problem. The last few nights I've had to ask him if we can make love and feel quite dejected - he told me a a while ago he wants me physically all the time and was worried he would be too much for me - now he doesn't seem to be able to perform and I am very much the one being in control. I wonder if this is what is putting him off because I'm so demanding - that is I tell him how I feel - I do not force him into anything. I'm confused by this whole situation and we tried to discuss it but he says he doesn't know why it's happening so it's now a vicious circle. He has told me in the past he had a high sex drive (it's been just over a year for him from his last relationship) but that he was never satisfied. Any comments for tips please? I'm feeling frustrated on all levels!!!!! Many thanks.

[Roughquest]

Hi Oceanauk - Sounds good so far to me, I think maybe your new man is perhaps feeling a bit overwhlemed to 'perform' and this can have a negative effect on his bits... relax a bit on the sex front, try not to be too demanding and perhaps next time you are together concentrate on letting him pleasure you and take the pressure off penetration....take your time and concentrate on him more too make him feel wanted and important....things I am sure will get back on track. Good luck.

[oceanauk]

Thanks roughquest - that's a very postive and sensible answer!!!

[Sasha13]

Flippin heck, I'm not suprised he's loosing it if you're asking him for it every night when there's clearly a problem!!! Back off a bit! Take the pressure off him by not initiating anything for a while. Go buy a rabbit to relieve yourself so the physical side isn't driving you (can highly recommend the platinum one - �45 - bargain!) Let him catch his breath - he probably had a problem one night through tiredness or something similar and this has been playing on his mind ever since making the problem worse. It'll be fine.

it may be worth him visiting a GP if there's been no improvement or if he has any other symptoms though.

[suzi-q]

I agree with the others. Just be kind and affectionate, don't demand or ask for sex, just let him take the lead. He may be really worried that hes letting you down and feeling under pressure to perform. Hes probably fearing that you will go off him if he can't satisfy you. Just let him know that you love him and give it time. It sounds like hes worth it.

[oceanauk]

I have backed off to give him room to breathe and he's now taken the lead and it's all been fine. Oh and Sasha13 - I have the Rabbit - it's nearly melted recently LOL!!!!!! My man's had some sleep and is back on track!! Yay!!!! Poor guy!!

[Sasha13]

So pleased to hear it - rabbit's are great, aren't they? x