How do unPC people get the knowledge to be PC?

[shivvy]

I don't really like the term PC, however for the purposes of this question I think it is useful to use it. I have friends and family members who often say things that make me cringe. I always take the opportunity to update them on more up-to-date language/terminology but it makes me wonder 2 things. Firstly, am I as up-to-date as I could be in lots of areas, and secondly, where does someone go to find out about what is acceptable and unacceptable language. An example is my sister who a few months ago was talking about someone and said that they were 'coloured'. I challenged her on this and she really didn't know that saying that could be offensive. In fact she honestly thought it was the most up to date and right thing to say. Also, someone said to me recently "I know that it isn't ok to say 'oriental' anymore but I don't honestly know how to tell whether someone is Chinese or Japanese". I think that there are a lot of people out there who really do not mean to perpetuate negative language but don't know where to go to ask the awkward questions and get real answers. I am talking about people who truely do not mean to be disrespectful to others - and I include myself in that category.

My question therefore is where do people go to get info on such issues?

[CheekyChops]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I know what you mean.

One of my work colleagues recently described how she'd had a '****** brown' carpet in her bedroom.

She also constantly describes her sister as being 'handicapped'.

To me, neither of these terms are PC, she should say 'Dark Brown' or 'Disabled' but to her, they are normal!

[CheekyChops]

See, even Answerbank doesn't like one ofthe words, it should day n1**er brown!

[joko]

what a bizarre way to describe a colour!!

given that there is no one colour of skin, how would anyone know what shade they meant....

this is probably something she has heard and been brought up with and unfortunately that is the problem - people know what they have known all their lives and it becomes ingrained and hard to shift - unfortunately it is usually the parents who are to blame for a persons ignorance.

[saxy_jag]

When I'm not sure how to describe someone in terms of race or culture, I ask them what they prefer. That can often lead to a very informative discussion on the topic and by the end of it, I've usually made another friend.

Joko, that particular shade of dark brown was very 'in' when my parents were younger, around the 1950s. I guess then it wasn't considered offensive to use the 'n' word to describe a black person. Times change, and now we realise that it's actually derogatory (it derives from 'negro' as I'm sure you're aware, and isn't even a proper word, which I would find even more hurtful).

[Theland]

I am totally against the absurd excesses of the PC brigade, but I do also believe that it is incumbent on us all to be extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, and tailor our language and behaviour accordingly.
"Do as you would be done by."

[joko]

sexy jag - yes i realise that, what i meant was - how would anyone know what exactly the exact shade was, given that black skin comes in many different shades...?
if you went into a paint shop and asked for that colour, you could be handed any number of colour charts - which one would be your particular choice of 'n*gger'....?

or did it just mean a particular very dark brown?

[rosie posie]

well shivvy,,,your sister mentioned that the person was coloured,,,she could have just used the persons name ..... why did the colour have to come into it??? my son was singing a song with the n word and i said ...ooohhh you cant say that..he looked at me with a what are you on about face,as he didnt think any thing of it as the artist who was singing it was a black male....i also watched a programme were some artist wher asked why they used that word and they said that the word ****** was a derogrative term and they wanted to take the power away from the people who used it and use it as a term of endearment . there wher two side to the story as the female was against the word and tried to educate the young boys the history of the use of the word..ext...it was a good programme and i could see sense in both arguments..

[paddywak]

Some years ago I worked with a black girl,and I use the term black intentionally as Lorraine found the term coloured offensive and her reply to anyone who used it her was usually "I'm black not a f******g rainbow" . The point is that anything can be PC or non PC depending on the attitude of the people concerned and the context, there's no doubt the N word for instance is offensive however you look at it but some of the things the PC brigade want to ban are really over the top

[Trillipse]

it's an absolute minefield - i found this when my differently tolerant sister had the audacity to be offended when my differently continent grandmother called my differently technologically embracing niece a f_cking stupid little amish c_ntface sh_tkicker.
personally i'm pretty liberal.

[don1]

I find it quite perplexing that black people in the USA spent so many years fighting to get rid of the term ni**er but now thats how they address each other

[Octavius]

Blithely brushing the race thing aside, I choose to focus on the use of the word �handicapped�. Some people with disabilities (people first, shall we say) don�t mind that word as they see themselves as disabled people who have handicaps. Others would see it as derogatory since they are only handicapped or disabled because of the barriers that have been placed in their way due to the physical environment: steps instead of ramps, no Braille menus in restaurants etc.

There is no way of knowing what is correct at a particular time, and to refer to someone as handicapped may not fully identify them, but if you knew someone say who was a disabled black lesbian � where would you start? There is no right or wrong as individuals will respond differently, although clearly there has to be some empathy and understanding on your part so as not to offend. These are the top 10 most offensive alternatives:

1. Retard
2. Spastic
3. Window-licker
4. Mong
5. Special
6. Brave
7. Cripple
8. Psycho
9. Handicapped
10. Wheelchair-bound

Note that it is only about 10-12 years ago that SCOPE was called The Spastic Society and even I remember in primary school (circa 1970-80) that the word �spastic� was horribly offensive. In any conversation or addressing of a person, if you think your words might offend them, then think of something else.

[Trillipse]

spastic is descriptive