Help with child care issues and ex partner

[welly_2003]

Hi all

I need some advice,

I left my husband last year due to personal reasons.

We have a child together, he is unwilling to take time off if she is ill, i could lose my job if i keep taking time of which is not good as i have bills and rent to pay. Plus the way i see it is why should he not help.

Does anybody know what i can do as he seems to think i should not be working at all which does not seem fair

Any advice would be gratefully received

Thanks

[WendyS]

Do you still have a relationship with your ex husband's parents who might be able to step into the breach and help out in case of your daughter's sickness? After all, she is still their granddaughter. Or your own parents? I'm afraid you seem to be caught in the old trap that it is always the mother who has to make the sacrifices where the wellbeing of children is concerned. Do you have any friendly contacts with local neighbours who have children of their own who might be prepared to act as emergency baby sitters or are you in an office job where possibly working at home for the odd day might be something you could negotiate with your employer?

[justjuice]

Although your employer could get funny with you - legally I think they would be unwise to sack you if you child is genuinely unwell. To be honest I was a single parent with 3 children under the age of 11, their father lived 400 miles away so had to just get on with it. Unless you child is really unwell (you don't say how she is) encourage them to get on with it - my children go to school in all winds and weathers and even if they're not feeling 100% only being at home if they get sent home - it's a routine they got used to themselves frrom a young age.
Your ex does need to step up to the plate though as he is as responsible for your daughter as you are and if he actually wants his child's respect when she's older needs to be seen to be there in the bad times as well as the good.

[welly_2003]

Thanks Guys,

My child was sent home from nursery with conjunctavitus, she had chicken pox last week so i have had a fair bit of time off with her.Dont speak to his parents at all, both my parents work full time..Is there a legal way i can get hom to help with her, we due to divorce this year

[amonty1144]

I'm afraid the law will not make him take responsibility. Unless he chooses to do it, you're on to a loser. Try a build up a network with other mums in the area and see if they can help out.
I know how difficult it is, my son's nursery would send him home at the slightest thing, thankfully hie school is much better.

[dancecaller]

I can see the nurseries point. They can't NOT send them home if they are infectious, and both of those are.

And building up helpful networks with other parents is so much easier for those who don't work full time and can return the favours, though most wouldn't want an infectious child with their child.

I suspect a reliable babysitter is the only realistic option for the minor ailments, (if she was really ill you would want to be there for her). When I worked part time, I spent more the first week on a sitter for my daughter, who had flu, than I earned. Is your ex willing to help with the cost of sitters, if he can't take time off?