Children misbehaving

[4getmenot]

I have watched GMTV this morning and they had a debate about whether shop assistants should intervene and help more when a child is misbehaving as alot of people dont want to see children being smacked or shouted at whilst out shopping. What are peoples views on this?

[mrrobbo15]

i think they could be asking for all kinds of trouble here, including a mouthful from the parent........or ironically they might be the one getting the smack...

[gina32]

exactly, you wouldnt expect a stranger to smack your child if out walking so why would you expect a shop assistant to do it?

[WaldoMcFroog]

Entry to shops is discretionary.

If children are misbehaving, it is the parent who is at fault, and the shops are entirely at liberty to ask them and their unruly sprogs to leave.

Personally, I think most other forms of intervention would probably be inappropriate, regardless of how badly behaved a child might be.

[4getmenot]

I dont think they are saying a shop assistant should hit your child, but they are saying that they should askj if you need help such as carrying things while you deal with your child. I think its getting ridiculous, I would smack my child in public and hope that I could deal with it myself. But I also dont like mothers that really yell abuse at their children in public. I was waiting in a queue the other day and a lift opened and the mother, a little boy and 2 older children got out. The older children were both carrying baskets and the younger child went to get one, the mother went mad at him she shouted for the whole shop to hear' put it down stop messing about and grow up!, you're making a fool out of yourself' Now to me the only person making a fool out of themselves was the mother and to tell a boy of about 4 to grow up when all he was doing was wanting to copy his older brother and sister really annoyed me.

[redcrx]

i saw the program and I did feel that the NSPCC were going a little far with what they were trying to do. They need to spend money where its needed, those children that are being abused (IMO one smack when a child is being seriously naughty is a lot different to repeated smacks and violence towards a child who is trying to enjoy childhood) rather than taking polls to see how many people dont like shopping when there are children behaving badly or being smacked (who would ever answer yes to that?)
Yes, the shops can make it easier for parents and children, more parent spaces (further from store so as to prevent sports car owners using them as safe parking for precious cars), sweets away from eye level and tills, and keeping shelf stackers and their giant trolleys out of aisles to prevent the stresses of shopping with children. id much rather that than have the 'no smacking zones' they are recommending.

[Tiny E. A]

I heard this being reported on the radio and it said the NSPCC were trying to make shops smack free zones for children and it took me a while to realise they were talking about slapping and not heroine! I was quite confused for a minute!!

I think people should mind there own business while a parent is out with their child, unless of course a child is being properly beaten or something. It seems that if you have a child with you people think they have the right to approach you and say anything to you about what you or the child should or shouldn't be doing. People make me so angry when I'm out with my boyfriends son and he starts having a tantrum in a shop, He gets tut tutted if he's screaming (even though it's what children sometimes do, and all those who are tut tutting have probably screamed a shop down during their childhood) and I get tut tutted when I then try to make them stop tantruming, although I've never smacked my boyfriends son, I have shouted at him when he's being particularly frustrating and I get tut tutted then. At the end of the day mothers and other people looking after children have to shop whether people like it or not and sometimes a child will tantrum even though none of us like it.

[Le Chat]

I would think shop assistants have enough to do in their own job apart from intervening with children. It is up to the parent to control their child. My 3 yr old son gets 'overwhelmed' in shops, so if I need to shop, I go directly to what I want, purchase it and leave. I also tell my son that this is what is going to happen. If for any reason he starts to 'act up' which generally is to run off, then I leave the shop immediately. This can be a real pain, especially as I don't get to buy what I need but it is better than the saga of having a naughty child in a shop, for all concerned.

[redcrx]

perhaps the shops could open at a time thats purely just for parents. Allow us to park across 2 spaces and shop without fear of being looked down upon if our child dares to cry or shout. Those without children can shop in peace during nap time (say 11am - 1pm) and from 9pm onwards so as to avoid such stressfull situations as seeing children misbehaving in a store. :)

[redcrx]

Le Chat, i can see your reasoning behind talking your child out of such a situation, but do you not think that he will cause a fuss if hes anywhere he doesnt want to be, purely to get you to stop what you are doing and take him home again?

[Joefish999]

I think everyone has the "right" to intervene if they see any form of true child abuse. And they should, even if there is a risk to themselves, as abused children always need protecting.
The problem with suggesting that Shop Assistants or any other group of individuals in the community be encouraged to become child police is evident from the answers already on this thread. Are they acting to protect children or are they acting to protect other delicate shoppers who don't want their sensibilities offending by seeing or hearing children being chastised?
I didn't see GMTV but I wonder what training is going to be offered to these people and what their aim in intervening is going to be.
How are they going to know just how that child has been behaving in the previous 4 shops to get the parent to the "just about to explode" stage. Will they have the skills and sensitivity to difuse the situation or will they just make it worse
Going back to my original point, I believe everyone has a responsibility to help if things are going too far but the idea that ejecting noisy families who are getting stressed while trying to shop might be going a little far!

[Tiny E. A]

Here here redcrx and joefish999

[redcrx]

great answer Joe! Id hope that any decent person would step in and say something if a child was being beaten.

[pikzee]

Hi

I think it should be down to discretion on when a Shop Assistant or Manager should intervene.

There are different catergories of naughty/nuisance kids in shops.

The kids that are throwing a tantrum (generally younger pre-school kids) are a fact of life - it's what they do! Most parents will try their best to try and distract or stop the tantrum. People that tut tut at that will tut tut at anything and everything!

The ones that cause the most annoyance in shops are the ones that are allowed to run amok in the aisles - shouting, skidding, banging into you! These are the ones that have the parents who don't give a fig - in their opinion they have the right to do what they want how they want! These are the people who should be told to leave the shop.

[diamondrocks]

this thread made me think of the many times a parents response to a child 'misbeaving' e.g picking up things in a shop, and their parents sayin something along the lines of 'put that down! the shop lady will tell u off!'
in the 'real world' this would probably never happen

[Reverandfunk]

Heaven help us all.....

[bundleone]

All children play up sometimes, mine have, if I hear a child creating a fuss I try not to look as I know how embarrassed the Mum feels.

[reachesme]

Shop online!