Paedophiles

[sexiruskiee]

I was walking through the park today and a man walked up to me with a girl of about three who had spilt a drink on her dress and was clearly distressed. The man explained that he was the girls childminder and that he wanted to get her out of the wet dress but didn't feel it was appropriate for him to do it and would I mind just putting the spare on for her. I was surprised that he felt this way. It really annoys me the way that although 99.99999% of men are not paeodphiles they all live in fear of being accused of being one! This man should have felt able to change the girls clothes.

[insurance]

maybe its just me but no child of mine would be with a male child minder or any child minder.why do people have kids if they cannot look after them themselves.

[ummmm]

Yes..

[grumpii]

Maybee he got off watching you do it. (SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. I know) If the police would have confronted them during this, and asked the little girl if he was her father, and she replied no, he would still be getting bloody interviewed now, and she would be in care.

[pussnboots]

My husband loves children and often stops to talk to tots in the supermarket especially if they are playing up for their mums. I always tell him not to do it because he gets dirty looks from their mums. I know that it is a dangerous world we live in, more so for children, but he is now very wary.

[ummmm]

No more dangerous than it's ever been....

If you take traffic out of the equation.

[annie0000]

This sounds a bit odd to me - if he was the childs childminder then it would be part of his role to change her clothes as required rather than get a complete stranger to do it. It's not as if people in the park would think anything, they would presume that he was her father.

I agree though that it is sad that people have to feel that way around kids even though they are perfectly innocent. However, since I have had my own children, I do feel suspicious of other people who have contact with them. This is probably heightened by my other halves former occupations as both a mental health nurse dealing with people who have been abused as children and have then abused others and he then worked doing Criminal record checks for people who work with children.

A lot of people take these checks as comfort, but all they really prove is that someone has not been caught doing anything. They also, at present, do not have to be completed by anyone already operating in a position where new people would require to be checked. e.g sports coaches and scout leaders etc.

It is sometimes a very sad world we live in, and child protection is paramount in most parents minds.

[sexiruskiee]

I did change her clothes by the way! But I didn't appreciate it. I only went out to walk the dog!

[maggie01]

If he was her approved childminder and registered as such then surely he would have been police checked anyway.

[annie0000]

unfortunately Maggie, a police check doesn't mean that much - only that they have never been caught doing anything. On the balance of probability, the chances of something happening to your or any other child are very small. But how would you feel if it was your child? Still think that this situation sounds a bit odd. You are either the childs child minder or you aren't. What if she had spilt something on herself or wet her pants or something at home? Would he accost someone of the street to come in and change her? What if the child had been a boy? Something smells here and I am not sure what.

[sexiruskiee]

I think it was simply that he was out in public and felt uncomfortable with it. I am sure at home he would have changed her!

[maggie01]

Annie0000. You are right about the police check. Bit stupid of me really. I work with children and have been police checked and I have nothing to hide, but when one of them have an accident I do my job and change them but I do it as quickly as possible and try to make sure someone else is around. It does make you feel uncomfortable.

[carlyo2le]

if my child had a male childminder and i found out that hed asked a complete stranger to change his clothes id fire him i think thats terrible if the mother was happy to employ him then he shouldnt care what others think im shocked and if i was the person being asked to do this id refuse straight away!! weird

[annie0000]

Call me suspicious, but i don't think that he was a bona fide childminder - if so, I don't think that he would have hesitated to change the child. it is unusual to find male childminders, so if he was one, i am sure that he will have already have thought through and probably been questioned on how he would deal with this type of scenario. I tend to think that this was more of an informal arrangement - i.e.taking a friends child to the park because he was free and the parents weren't. Iam not saying that he was up to anything, just that the situation wasn't what it appeared.