First date and meet up ... cooking a meal for her?!

[leecamowol]

Hey,

I've met some online, we've chatted and seem to get on great. We're meeting up this weekend for the first time and she's hinted that she would prefer me to cook a meal for her which I'm okay with ... so I'm calling out for HELP??!! What should I cook, how do I approach the whole situation (what to wear, table layout, general etiquette, etc). I've never done the whole "dating game" before as my one and only girlfriend was a friend before we got together. I really don't want to muck this up.

Any useful advice? Cheers!! x

[redhead23]

lee,
ask her wat types of food she likes is she allergic to anything etc is she a veggie ,
i would not go overboard a nice shirt trousers and clean shoes ,
she likes you anyway so just go with the flow
if you are uncomfortable with making dinner- you could always take her for a meal , get a nice bottle of wine (or watever she drinks) she will be as nervous as you mate xxx good luck let us know if it goes well

[fairkatrina]

If this is your first meeting you're better off going somewhere public until you know she's not some beardy-weirdy bloke trying to get into your house!

[CheekyChops]

Make something simple, no need for dessert realy but just something easy and possibly shop bought to heat up just in case...

Have it ready to eat for when she turns up...

Dress nicely but not over the top (not so she thinks 'where is he going after this then?)

Be yourself.

If she is into you, nothing will really matter, she will just be impressed that you have made the effort, even if it all goes pear shaped! (not that it will...)

[leecamowol]

Well I accept your concerns katrina but she has a picture on her profile (of her with her cousin) and has confirmed herself by sending me two pictures via her mobile tonight. Now I know that there is some hoaxers out there but I think surely no-one would go to the extreme of finding multiple (pretty genuine looking i.e. not posed like off a modelling website) pictures of the same person.

[redhead23]

owww whhy not mention my suggestions

[leecamowol]

Thanks Red.

I've discovered from her profile her favs are Chinese food and Red Wine but I will find out any allergies tomorrow! LOL Don't want to be poisining her!

I'm really exciting (as well as nervous) about this ... thanks guys you're really helped me boost my confidence

[redhead23]

you will be fine , enjoy it and if it dont work out you still have friendship enjoy yourseld

and use protection if things get heated (which they shouldnt as its a first date ) xx

[Reverandfunk]

Mate steer clear of cooking on the first date. Just meet for a coffee or a drink somewhere public so you both have a get out clause lol. I'd leave cooking til 3 or 4 in at least then you could try chilli, pasta etc something simple but shows you have made an effort.

[teag1rl]

I'm guessing you only want sex out of this realtionship? By suggesting coming to your house that's all she's after. Don't suppose it matters if you even get food in! No harm in it if that's all you want, I'm just saying, it's not the type of thing that looks like it's leading to romance.

[leecamowol]

I'm worried now teagirl ... is that true is that all she wants... she's driving 30 mins just for some sex? ... she seems so nice and sweet when we chatted.

I'm personally not after just sex ... I haven't give that impression have I?

[liquidspace]

Have you picked up anything in conversation that might suggest she wants sex? Has the conversation been suggestive at all?

[leecamowol]

The only thing remotely risque mentioned was she said she was "curvy and most men hate it" then she said she had big boobs and then apologised for talking before thinking and wishing she hadn't said it.

That is the only only slightly suggestive comments.

[Wagon_Wheel]

Lee, I met my partner through an online dating agency and we now have a lovely son together. But....that's three years down the line and we had a very slow courtship that began via email, then graduated to three weeks on the phone before finally meeting up in a PUBLIC place. I would really encourage you not to have her over to your place in the beginning until you are sure that this may go somewhere meaningful and I am really surprised that as a woman she would have suggested this. No offence to you but the etiquette of online dating is well documented and men and women alike are advised not to go to eachother's houses in the beginning. I'm sure she is lovely but what if it doesn't work out and she's a bunny boiler type - do you want her to know where you live? I'm not sure about whether she is just in it for the sex - but it's possible. The things she has said seem to suggest that she is a little bit insecure and looking for some validation from a prospective partner. Is this what you want? Look, this is all worse case scenario but please change the venue to somewhere neutral and just see how things go. If you do find you really like eachother you will have numerous future opportunities to cook for her, have her over to yours, etc. Hope this helps, but please let us know how you get on x

[leecamowol]

Just thought I'd let you know how it went ... she text me asking what we are doing on Saturday(!) so, depsite all the advice I had a really good vibe from her, I asked her around for a chinese takeaway.

She came around about 7 and has just left (11.15). We chatted, watched some TV, had a takeaway and watched a film together. I think it went well ... I really like her and she seems great. So I'll have to wait until tomorrow ... she said she would text me ... the only thing I'm worried about is I'm a nice guy but not a great conversationalist so I hope I haven't put her off.

So there we go, she was definitely not interested in sex (as suggested) and she doesn't seem to be a bunny boiler ... is there any hints or suggestions that I could gauge if she thought it went well??

[leecamowol]

Further update for those who are interested. She has texted me ... back and forth to each other a few times today actually. She says she wants to see me again if I want to aswell ... so I'm assuming (as the guy) I should be offering the 2nd date but so confused what to do etc

Any advice ... I'm in such a happy mood at the moment but so don't know what to do - this is all new to me?! LOL

[Miss Random]

Hi leecamowol,
I must be honest, I totally shared wagon_wheel's view and opinion on your dilemma.
As a girl, I would never have agreed to go to a man's house, not only for a first date, but effectively, a 'blind date'.
But, sounds like you both got on well.

The question you now ask, about what to do next, well she has placed the 'ball in your court'. So yes, you do need to ask her on a date.
You mentioned that she lives 30 mins drive from you, so how about suggesting something in the daytime (Saturday, probably as I'm assuming you both work), you should really go to where she lives.
She has checked out where you live, you now need to check out where she lives (and get an idea of her life-style). I still have a niggling doubt about her.
Check that she;
1. Has a home
2. That she is not looking for a 'meal ticket'
3. That she is 'totally' single

Google her town and find an idea for a good day out and a restaurant for lunch, suggest picking her up from her home and the day out you have planned.
You will know from her reaction to this suggestion if things are 'regular'.

Please post again, to let us know how it is going.

[leecamowol]

Hey Miss Random, Thanks for the answer.

I can answer some of your points already. I did (for my own piece of mind) do a 192 search on her and it confirmed her situation that she lives at home with her parents and brother. She showed my pics of her family on her phone too.

We've talked alot (as we have a big common interest) about her job and career as she is training to be the same as me too. But obviously I do need to be certain of things first too ... she's suggested meeting up this week but could only do Weds as she is going back to the gym and work has increased ... but maybe I'm too trusting but they sound very true and hasn't been any discrepancies in her messages as yet!!

It turns out it's only 15 mins between us ... but unfortunately I don't drive (in fact got my driving test v soon) and we both live in quite remote places so no public transport links!!

I don't know if this means anything but up to now our contact has been very much "how are you" "what you up to" talk but she has just sent me a sexually related joke via text (actually about oral sex!!) ... I found it a good sign that she is more comfortable with me maybe ... albeit a risk I thought as she may not know if that is "my type" of humour so a part of me was thinking "is she hinting at me to be more physical/forward on the 2nd date"??

Not being able to drive is very annoying at the moment to be honest!! Grrrr.