Is my friends husband having an affair?

[sam100]

My friends husband has a job working away from home during the week. When he first went away (just before xmas) he rented a room in a house from a lady who he became good friends with (who is gay) My friend found a few very ambiguious text's on his phone from this lady and questionned him. He instisted that they were just mates and he was making an effort as she was his landlady. She asked him to move out of this ladies houe and in to a hotel so he did. My friend has since checked his phone bills and phone and all communication has stopped. ONLY PROBLEM IS... No money has gone out of their bank account for hotels and she doesnt even know what hotel he is staying in. Last night we called round 10 hotels where he is working, including two that he had said he had stayed in and none of them have had bookings for him in the last month.... He has also bought a blackberry and she does not know the number.... There are no receipts or anything related to him working away in the house... They are pretty straped for cash at the mo and while she was been at home looking after the kids he has been drawing �200 out of the bank for one night out with the lads and has been paying for women to dance in front of him in clubs. Last weekend he made the excuse that he had to go back to work early at the weekend as he was needed but bumped into a mutual friend when drunk and told her he was going back to take the lads out on a bender.. My friend is more worried by what she doesnt know than what she does know. Any advice greatfully received.

[4getmenot]

yer but at end of day, its their marriage and if its over its over. nothing you can do.

[4getmenot]

Can I ask what do you reckon yourself. Is he having an affair?

[sam100]

Hi Gina,

�200 was spent last night on taking the lads from work out for food and beers as he told her he was taking that amount of money when she noticed it had been withdrawn from the bank.

He works in the same city all the time. he has friends up there which he met through work and some friends who live at home where we do but travel to the same place like he does.

The dancers in clubs he admits about and his mates have also told her as well i think.

[tiny e.a]

Why couldn't these men buy there own food and beer if things for them are tight?

[sam100]

Accommodation is not covered by his company expenses, neither is food, drink or lapdancers...otherwise a lot of people wd be asking for jobs.

When i first found out about the shared house and the lesbian he was living with i was adamant that it was just a miss understanding. Now however i have this small amount of doubt mostly because of the situation with hotels & reciepts etc although im not sure what to think apart from the fact that they have both been very insensitive to each other.

[sam100]

Tiny: thanks for the reply again. He is the boss of his team and he likes to be a bit flash with the cash and give the lads a good time.

[sense4all]

If I was in serious doubt I would have my kids babysat during day / overnight by trusted friend. Hire a wee car different make and colour from mine ( cash) and then follow him as he left the office at a discreet distance. Wear a wig and baseball cap. Re the Blackberry she can use it to phone her home number when he leaves it unattended then 1471 the house phone, then to cover tracks ask friend to phone straight after that. OR the bill for charges has the number on it, for o2 anyway! Mr Sense has one. If you are going to these lengths tho' you know all is not well in Paradise. I would also check out the home computer to see what has been done on it ... I have a techie I consult on these matters when the kids are being naughty ( son found his porn stash was made into slideshow screensaver , I can still see his face as the panic set in! lmfao.) Did you know that in some software programmes you can hide files ... perhaps someone will be able to impart the necessary steps for you to help her do that. Then she needs to clear history afterwards or he can see what she has been doing! Mr Sense thinks I used to be in the French Resistance. lol.

[sam100]

Thanks sense4all! I checked the computer last night for her to no avail. He also has several email accounts to which she does not know the password. There is no phone bill for the blackberry in the house but she has checked mobile bill. Neither of us have any idea how to use blackberry or how to get it off him as its joined at the hip!

[sense4all]

Why not ask for help here ... maybe not best to say why ... you got given one without a manual and are clueless right?

http://www.mailboxforum.co.uk/

She will need to look here to find the right one tho' these tech types are thorough!
http://na.blackberry.com/eng/devices/;jsession id=5BB35CFB4955E1E2C737D1A080B0C96E

Good luck.

[PinkFizz]

Tell you what I would do - I would say that I miss him loads during the week and as a treat Ive got blah blah blah to babysit kids so I can join him for a night to break up his 'boredom' !! So all I need is the address! lol