Family update

[yinyang]

not a question. Just wanted to update everbody who has been so kind to me about my father and grandfather's cancer.
Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away yesterday morning. Even though we all knew it was coming it was still sooner than we expected. The end was very peaceful and gran was beside him.
My dad started his chemo last week and thankfully seems to be doing well on it. He's had so many setbacks and delays that finally feeling something is being done has given him a much more positive attitude to things.
I'm really worried about my gran. She and papa were married for over 60 years and she's just going to be lost without him. Any advice on how I can help her would be appreciated. Thanks.

[bigmamma]

yinyang sweetie , I am sorry to hear of your loss . Things will be very difficult for you trying to deal with your own emotions while trying to support others .
My heart and thoughts are with you love and I hope you can find extra inner strength . xx

[kate1976]

Big hugs to you and your family, I'm sorry for your loss!

I'm glad to hear that your dad seems to be doing well, I hope he stays positive!

As for your gran, I think just being there for her is the best advice I can give! It breaks my heart when I hear of people losing their life partner!

Once again I'm sorry for your loss! Take care. xxx

[Baby Jane]

yinyang

My heartfelt sympathy to you. My mum is going thro chemo too so I understand. Lost my dearest dad two year ago with cancer and mum was so lonely but we made sure we visited and she went out with one of us. Its so hard, they say time heals,well in my dads case Im still waiting for the hurt to stop. You take care,be strong, and we are here when you need us. Thoughts for your dad too, I believe in prayer so I'll include him in mine
xx

[raysparx1]

Hi yinyang, So sorry to hear of your loss, all you can do is to be there for your gran, talk with her,cry with her and laugh with her, talk about your grandad, never be afraid to mention his name in front of her, she will have so much time on her hands, the shock will come in after the funeral, thats when she will need people around her, the evenings will be so lonely, so give her a call now and then or pop round in the evenings for a chat, it won't be easy but the way you are caring about her what you have to do will come naturally, hope all goes well with your dad, say hello to him and keep him smiling, I know it is hard but a positive attitude and your sense of humour can help you through this,
Take care yinyang, will be thinking of you and your family, I will go to the little church near me and light a candle for you all, Ray

[joannie10]

i am sorry for you loss yinyang. My grandparents were approaching 65 years married when my grandfather died. My grandfather had been a very active sociable man with hobbies where as my gran preferred just to be around the home and her family come to her. As previously said you just have to be there for her - keep up plenty visits, do with her the things she likes to do, which as I say was difficult with my gran because she just liked to be home. She did cope very well though as will your gran I am sure - with the love of her family x I hope things pick up for your dad soon too x

[yinyang]

Many thanks to you all for your kind words.
Still feel a bit numb today. I'm worried about my gran and mum, worried about my dad's illness and trying to keep the childrens routine as normal as I can. Explaining it to them was difficult. At 5 , they're a bit too old to blindly accept everything you tell them and too young to fully understand. We talked yesterday about letting them choose a shrub or tree each for the garden and planting it for papa.

Baby Jane, my very best wishes to you and your family. I hope everything goes well for your mum. Take care. x

[Baby Jane]

Thank you sweetheart.

xx

[raysparx1]

Hello yinyang, You must not try to do it all by yourself, you can only do your best, just make sure you look after yourself as for the children, tell them the truth explain it in simple terms, like how a flower dies, children pick up on things they are very bright and will understand, let them cry, life is hard,but you are there to protect them,they will see your gran sad and will wonder why she is always sad if they aren't told, picking a tree is fantastic idea,maybe they could also pick a star from the sky as well, but please remember to take care of yourself as well, Ray xx

Baby Jane, Hope all goes well for you and your family as well, take care, Ray xx

[Baby Jane]

ray

What lovely advice you gave yinyang and thank you for your kind message to me.

You take care too sweetheart
xxxx