Divorce....

[andydingdang]

I have been living apart from my "wife" for nearly 16 months now. I have a new girlfirend of 4 months and wish to get a divorce. My wife left me with no real explanation and left me with all the financial responsiblity of a house we co owned. We also have 4 year old Daughter and I have been providing money for her each month. I would like to get divorced as soon as possible and looking on websties I see that unless someone is to blame you have to be sepearated for 2 years.....is this really that case. Also depsite my wife leaving me and waiting for over a year could I get in toruble for having a new girlfriend whislt still married could this be seen as adultery. I'd apprecaite any help anyone can offer me.

[Ethel]

Your wife could divorce you for adultery, which would be one way to a quick divorce. You wouldn't be 'in trouble' - I don't quite know what you mean there. If your wife did divorce you on those grounds you would get what you want - a quicker divorce.

Your girlfriend would not need to be named if you admitted adultery. And any financial settlement or other practicalities would not be affected - you would not be punished in any way.

You could divorce your wife for unreasonable behaviour - but that is just not worth the hassle to get divorced just a few months quicker.

You will need to get your financial affairs in order - who is having the house, is it to be sold, division of the assets and so on - if you and your wife can come to an amicable and fair settlement it will help the divorce proceed so much easier when the time comes.

Ask your wife to divorce you. She may be just as eager for a way to get out of the marriage.

[andydingdang]

My wife left me and I didn't see anyone for a year so I don't think I have commited adultery so i wouldn't want to divorce on those grounds.......The house has been sold and we have nothing else in joint names or to be divided. I guess what I am asking is if I tell her about my girlfriend is there someway I could end up having to give her money. Sorry not very clued up on the subject.

[xhxmxsx]

your new girlfriend would have nothing to do with it, i met my fiance while he was going through a divorce and i was never mentioned at all etc. as you have a child the courts will try and get it done quickly to save any agro that may affect your daughter, if you live with your new girlfriend when it comes to consent form for your daughter you will have to mention she lives with you but money will not come into it they just need to know that when u have access to your daughter etc who else will be there

[andydingdang]

Thanks for your help......So just to clarify there is away around not being separated for 2 years and it shouldn't take that long for the divorce to be final.

[Ethel]

Unless your wife divorces you for adultery or you divorce her for unreasonable behaviour (which I would not recommend) then there is no quicker way.

You ARE technically committing adultery - you are a married man.

Your wife could say that there is no chance of a reconciliation because of your adultery and push for the divorce.

Why is the rush to divorce?

[neo680]

All previous posts correct, but don't forget that apart from you, your ex & anyone else either of you tell, nobody (meant nicely!) actually cares why you're getting divorced & that includes the court! If you both want out & can agree to it, the reasons can be anything, including your (technical) adultery. The 2 year part only really kicks in if one partner refuses to divorce the other, but if 2 years separation can be proved, then you don't need other reasons. Start proceedings, worry not about the reason & look forward to a new life with your new partner! And be especially thankfull that all finances are sorted & there are no kids to argue about!!

[neo680]

Whoops! Sorry, just re-read your post & saw about daughter, so sorry for last. But appears as if she's not causing any problems between you both; keep it that way if you can! Sorry again; off to opticians now...............

[sleepyfairy]

Ethel can I ask why you do not recommend unreasonable behaviour, I am about to enter a divorce and my solicitor is saying that would be the best route less likely to be thrown out than adultary which is hard to prove, My husband left me 4 weeks ago and is now living with the Polish girl, although he still denies anything happened between them at the time, they were only friends!!
Is there an easy and quick way through all of this finance side of things, my hubby is happy to leave everything the same, so am I for now, but the solicitor insists we need him to make an injunction so that he can not go back on his word, I do not know if he is just doing this for the extra money from me or if it is because it is necessay!!!

[JRB]

Grounds for divorce in your situation :-

"your partner deserted you at least two years ago
you've lived apart for at least two years if you both agree to the divorce
you've lived apart for at least five years if one of you doesn�t agree to the divorce."

As you have a jointly owned assets and a child it will probably take some time to settle matters to the court's satisfaction. In another 8 months you can apply for divorce because of irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, relatively cheaply (compared to suing your wife for unreasonable behaviour or adultery), as long as your wife goes along wi th it. If she doesn't, then think again as you may have to wait until you have been separated 5 years and then you WILL have to go the more expensive route. During this time you should get a deed of separation drawn up, which can also be used in the divorce. It is quite common nowadays for such a deed to have a clause "allowing both of you to live independent lives" (or some such wording) which then covers you against the charge of committing adultery even though the marriage is still in effect legally though not practically.