Domestic Violence

[FEELINLOST]

If you have been with someone for 10 years and its been a rocky relationship because of the things you have done, what do u do?

I met my partner at a young age and did a lot of lying at the beginning and really wasn't a good person. I have hurt my partner a number of times and he has stuck by me through thick and thin.

In the past 5 or 6 years if I have done things which have upset him or made him angry it will result in violence on occasion.

I'm close to my partner's family but really don't know how to handle the situation anymore. Am I being selfish as really I have hurt my partner emotionally and yet he has stayed with me but now I can no longer face the violence and feel scared and confused.
Do I really deserve this despite what I have done to my partner?

Any advice please-thank you

[arlibop]

hi feelinlost
Although you say you've hurt your partner emotionally and he's stuck by you there are no excuses for physical violence. I was in a similar situation a few years ago where almost everytime he hit me it was because i had done something wrong (from his perspective that is) other times it was just cos he was in a bad mood. Get out of this relationship esp. if you have kids. I'm now married to a wonderful man and have heard on the grapevine my ex has had several g/friends since and been physically violent to all of them. There is hope and love out there just give yourself some space to find it. Good Luck love