eons ago some of you may remember my mother was diagnosed with cancer this was after being almost crippled by a stroke on top of crumbling vertebra. since then the routine has been to travel up every couple of weeks with a sister or twoand sit by a bedside waiting for the inevitable. three times we have been called to the hospital or hospice and told that she is about to pop her clogs . she has suffered 3 different cancers had 3 strokes, the radiotherapy on the cancer down below caused a massive perforation of the bowel and the massive amounts of painkiller caused her blood pressure to plummet [understarters orders again] . and each time ive been sitting by her bed thinking " i wonder if i dare nip out for a fag " all this and my mam has slowly been going gaga'er and gaga'er. jelly brained well 3 weeks ago a young consultant looked past all the drugs and realised apart from a few reading and writing / memory problems caused by the strokes and the wheelbarrow full of drugs she was being fed - the cancer which has dominated our lives has all but gone , she has spent a few weeks going cold turkey like but its like ive got me ma back its unbeleivable ive just got back with my youngest [he has never failed to be by my side every visit] andwatched her cuddling him and stroking his face, just soaking him up [he's 14 by the way not 2 ]. she looked up and said "how long have i been poorly cos ive just found me happy" am i a millionaire or what?