Balancing relationship and my own life

[bowannabow]

I love my boyfriend to bits. We've been arguing a great deal recently though, about not spending enough quality time together. I was on my own for many years before we got together and am realy struggling to adjust. We live together and lead busy lives. I think he's right, however I don't want to lose my friends or my independence. I resent him sometimes for being 'possessive'. The hours just doesn't seem long enough to fit everything/everyone in! Am i being unreasonable? How can I achieve balance?

[4getmenot]

No you are not, you need to tell him how you feel. Obviously you are with him for life so what difference should a night apart make. I was on my own for a very long time and when I got with my bloke I felt crowded and said I couldn�t see him every night. I have every other weekend out up town with mates, and on a tues and Wed I don�t see my bloke, but he doesn�t mind as he gets to see his mates. Doesn�t you bloke have any friends he�d like to spend time with?

[bowannabow]

He has some great mates, unfortunately they are not local as he moved half way across the country to be with me. He does have a few locally though, whom he sees sometimes. Generally he's not as bothered as I am about going out, which is obviously up to him. However, it also means I rarely get a night in on my own either which I would like occasionally.

[jno]

compromise... neither of you is being unreasonable, so you have to work out ways that you will both be as happy as possible. For yourself, maybe a slight change in mindset is in order: I think you might have to acknowledge that losing a bit of independence is what relationships are about. It'll sometimes mean not doing something you want to do, just so you can do something he wants to do instead. You do this because it gives him pleasure and you are putting his pleasure above your own. I'm not suggesting anyone should do this all the time, but it's something most people in relationships do some of the time.

[4getmenot]

yer going that further step and living with someone means you miss out on some things.