Im only on number 2 myself so cant really help, but I do know that my sister, who has had three, found each one easier and easier. Her first one was a nightmare and she needed a blood transfusion, her second went smoothly with no complications, and her third was even better!
Just remember, every woman and every pregnancy is different but it is good to know all the possibilities pf what why and how.
A chat with your midwife should put you more at ease :)
Now going back to the after pains with your second lol.......I dont like the sound of that!!