Dilema please help!

[darlingducky]

Ok so it was my friends birthday at the weekend and i had be looking so forward to it. At the Party got chatting to my friends sisters ex because we had met each other out the weekend before! well anyway as the night went on i got very drunk and dont remember much of the night which is really unlike me, so anyway was still talking to him and he tried it on and i said i couldnt because of my friend so he dragged me outside where nobody could see and kissed me! i didnt remember any of this until i got a message yesterday the thing is i never replyed because 1 i felt so guilty and 2 had no credit! im so scared my friend will go mad at me, i hate what drink does im a wreck what do you think i should do????

[Psychick]

But isnt he the ex? Is he seeing anyone? Are you seeing anyone? What is the big deal?

If you dont like what drink does to you.......dont drink!

[darlingducky]

what im trying to say is that i feel like a backstabber should i tell my friend what i did! i really hate myself for getting into this situation!

[johnlambert]

here's my tuppence worth,
It sounds to me as if this guy tried to take advantage of you while you were incapacitated through drink.
When you say he dragged you outside and kissed you, this could be seen as sexual assault, which is an offence, especially if you had already made it clear to him that his advances were unwelcome. also, if you do not remember any of this, what is to say that he, or someone else didn't slip you some Rohypnal or Hypnoval (date rape drugs)while you were not looking?

[darlingducky]

no it wasn like that at all, nothing was put in my drink i was just drunk there is no excuse for myself! its not as if i walked away that what im getting at i cant undersatnd why i went with him he didnt force me or anything but i did now i feel like a fool!

[johnlambert]

you said he tried it on and i said i couldnt because of my friend so he dragged me outside where nobody could see and kissed me"!

lets look at the operative words,
1)he tried it on and i said i couldnt because of my friend, in other words, you made it clear that his advances were unwelcome
2)dragged me outside where nobody could see, in other words he used force
3)he kissed me, in other words unwanted sexual contact.
Like I said, sexual assault when he was aware that his advances were unwelcome.

[darlingducky]

Johnlambert i think the words i used were wrong what i am trying to say is i cant justify my actions because i kissed him! to my friend its not going to make any difference whats done is done and i cant change that, i still went outside with him so thats my own fault why i couldn have walked away is beyond me suppose it was the drink! i really want to tell my friend but am scared to death of what she will say or do!

[johnlambert]

bite the bullet and tell her before somneone else does then, it will sound better coming from you than someone else
good luck!!

PS, alawys keep some credit on your mobile for such emergencies, or at least to call a taxi to make a quick getaway

[darlingducky]

ok so i tink i will tell her dont know how im gonna do it but i have no other choice! thanks

[johnlambert]

always happy to help
let us know what she say's

[confused79]

correct me if im wrong but im sure you said its your friends sisters ex? what does that matter, unless he was a complete ar*e then i dont see the problem, ? has he done something really bad in the past?
All im saying is unless it was her ex what is the problem?

[tiny e.a]

I wouldn't give a flying toss if one of my friends kissed my sisters ex boyfriend. Equally I wouldn't expect any of my friends to care in anyway if I kissed their sister's ex boyfriend. It's really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, i don't really understand why you are at all paniced about it. It's probably just hangover guilt, please just chill out about it.

[Psychick]

ducky, where would you like this to go, if anywhere?

As he has since made contact, even though you couldnt reply, Im assuming he may have asked you out perhaps?

If you and this chap are single then you have done no one any harm. Therefore, how can you have stabbed someone in the back by having a drunken kiss?

Just tell your friend........just say to her.....by the way, at your party soandso led me outside and we had a kiss.

Simple as that!

[nuoyg]

Do you like the guy darling ducky? How long were your friends sister and the ex together for?