if I die...

[Goodsoulette]

who would get my children? My next of kin would be my mum. Which means my eldest's next of kin is her too. My youngest's would be his dad, as he has parental responsibiity for him.

If I died, he would want both kids. My entire family would do everything they could to never allow this.

Would any wishes I had ever be taken into account in such cases?

[NORMANTHEDOG]

why would you not want the father to have the children.

[Goodsoulette]

Because at the moment I wouldn't. He was a violent controlling bully. Bridges are kinda being built but I still wouldn't trust him with them as a permanent fixture. They are young at the moment but as soon as they become of a certain size, I worry they will feel the edge of his temper. Beyond my wishes anyway, my family would fight him forever on this and they would get the eldest but not sure about the youngest.

[dzug]

You need to make a will appointing your chosen guardian for the children. It wouldn't be absolutely binding (as the father has rights in the decision as well) but would be given due weight in any court dispute over custody. It would at least make your views formally known, as opposed to only hearsay which could be denied.

[V2 Schneider]

Can you not do the decent thing and get the children Christened, like every child should be.

Then the Godparents will be the appointed guardians, which will hold in law.

And it will be a good excuse for a family get together.

Wardy. X

[Kathyan]

Why does religion always have to come into everything? Being christened doesn't make you a better person and I have never known anyone who has been brought up by god parents.

[Oneeyedvic]

Then the Godparents will be the appointed guardians, which will hold in law.

Never heard so much tosh in my life

[Pippa68]

Godparents legal guardians? not automatically, no..it isn't worth the piece of card it's written on, wardy.

This is a difficult one, and as a mum with 2 fathers in my equation it is something I have also pondered. Now the eldest kids are teenagers it doesn't seem so important, but I did worry that if I had died while they were younger the children would be separated.

[V2 Schneider]

I have not said it is "automatic", I have said it will "hold in law"

Clearly a saying you OEV have yet to hear of.

The saying "Hold in Law" means it will receive a decent hearing in whatever court it is heard.

OEV, you know I have greater knowledge than you will ever have, but there really is no excuse to come accross so patronising, especially when I am right.

[Oneeyedvic]

Hello Wardy - sorry you confused me there - what is this 3 names in the same amount of days?

Anyway, maybe you would be kind enough to let me (and others) know to what piece of legislation you are referring to where the Godparent's views are 'held in law'

Maybe you could also mention some cases where the godparents wishes have superseded the mother's wishes in her will?

Many thanks in anticipation.

[Pippa68]

Godparents have just as many rights as Joe Bloggs next door with regards to child residency.

After all, Mr P hasn't seen his godchildren in almost 20 years due to their emigration, and he himself hasn't seen his since he was 5 years old. Godparents can become virtual strangers (and often do).

Unless the parents have tied up an 'expression of wish' in their wills Godparents would not be considered in a court of law. When you become a godparent you promise to ''help raise the children in a Christian manner''. You receive a little card stating you are a godparent, which is not legally binding.

You do not have to promise to become a legal guardian if the parents die.