Any funny secrets?

[nutgoneflake]

Morning all! Start the day as you mean to go on (a bit more cheerfully than yesterday!) What's the funniest secret you have? Confession being good for the soul, of course...

Years ago, when I was only 14, I was trying to put an earring back into an almost closed-up hole. I fainted in a tiny downstairs cloakroom that was only as big as the loo and a mini basin. When I came round, I couldn't get up - I was wedged in the corner behind the door. I was too embarrassed to shout out, and noone would've been able to open the door anyway, so I wriggled for absolutely ages before I made it back on my feet.

I never told anyone and forgot about it until hubby said his mate's new house had a tiny bathroom, and then all these memories came flooding back. I've been laughing about it since yesterday!!

What about you?

[Katie~77]

My Mum still doesn't know it was me who made the toaster explode about 20 years ago! I didn't know it was a bad idea to pull the crumpets out with the help of a knife!!!!!! I do now!x

[haysi06]

Good lord there are sooooo many *blush*!

My mate and I were out for the day in Glasgow and were drinking pitchers of lager. We were on the train coming home and I had to go to the loo. I hate public loos (and rebecca LOL) especially the ones on trains...anyways....it was one of the new loos with the electronic door etc etc so I goes in and am sitting on the loo and the door opens!!! Theres a young guy standing outside and I am still on the loo, laughing my head off! The door slides shut again and I spend about 15 minutes laughing insided the loo. I eventually pull myself together and open the door and the guy is still standing there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mumbled 'sorry' and collapsed onto my seat laughing my head off!

Hx

[warpig3]

Years ago when I worked in a bar, myself and the barman ended up at my house the worse for wear (lock in). I had lost the keys so he had to climb over the back wall to open the back door. In doing so he grazed the whole inside of his arm. Me being smart decided to get a basin of water, some cotton wool and some germolene to fix his arm etc. No problem. Got up the next morning, a little groggy, and saw two cups of coffee and thought 'oh thats right, xxxx came back last night', then I saw the basin of water etc and remembered how he had hurt his arm. While putting everything away I discovered that it wasnt germolene I had put on his arm, oh no, it was a vaginal cream for thrush!

I never told him. Turns out his arm was fine (thank God).

[bigmamma]

Morning nutgoneflake , I am enjoying your thread. :-)x
Warpig that's so funny :-) xx

[warpig3]

Morning bigmamma, hope you got on ok on Thursday morning. As for my antics above, believe me, there are many, many more. I sometimes think there was a time in my life when my friends and I should not have been allowed out unsupervised.

[bigmamma]

What !!!??? .....You mean you go out unsupervised now ?

[warpig3]

Ssssssh.......yes, but don't tell anyone.

[treefrog.]

if i told you it would not be a secret

[nutgoneflake]

Katie - I thought the sticky-up, still smoking hair, the sooty face and the startled expression would have been a dead giveaway...or does that just happen to Tom and Jerry?!

haysi - have you noticed there's now an advert for toilet seats next to this thread? teehee!

warpig - I think you need to 'fess up some more....please!!!

bigmamma - hello matey!

treefrog - it'll do you a world of good to get it off your chest. You know it makes sense....!

[EngTeach]

I put a hole in my mother's door with an umbrella when I was 16 or so. I did not want to carry the big floral umbrella to my job as it was ugly and embarassing, and I suspect the evil little sister stole my pocket umbrella. So in a fit of teenage anger, I swung the offensive umbrella against the door and UH OH!!!

To this day everyone knows I did it,but I will not confess to it. It is a family joke now, bit I will never admit I did it!!!!

[nutgoneflake]

EngTeach, I think that inanimate objects sometimes make me more cross than people ever can! The umbrella deserved it, in my opinion....

Not too long ago, our plastic laundry basket severely pi$$ed me off (got in my way) and HAD TO PAY! It was new, and I cracked it right down one side by kicking it across the kitchen, and then back again. I hadn't confessed to that up til now! (It's never done it again though....!)