Age gap?

[babalicious]

my husband and i are discussing about having a second baby! I just wanted general opinions on what different age gaps have different affects, better to leave longer or shorter etc? thanks!

[someonesgirl]

me and my youngest sister are 2 and a half years apart and we hated each other until i was about 26..........most friends that have brothers and sisters seem to get on if theres about 4 years between them.......but then i suppose it depends on what sort of person you are!

[Dassie]

My brother and I are 8 years apart due to the WW2 so when he started going out, clubs,pubs etc I was too young to go with him and quite frankly thought I "missed out" on his company when growing up. I'd say 2 years apart would be beneficial to all. Just also think when you 2 are older, both your kids should be off your hands at more or less the same time and you can enjoy your later years together.

[pinkflamingo]

i believe in shorter age gaps, hard work but worth it in the end.

my three kids are now 18, 17 and 15. they always played together as little ones and are now the best of friends and very close.

btw oldest is a boy, the younger two are girls.

[annie0000]

i have 2 boys 13 months apart and that was really hard when they were little, but now that they are 7 and 6 they get on really well, and play together. they also get to go to the same things like Beavers etc. They do have their own friends and interests as well. The only drawback really is that i feel a bit guilty that the older one never really got to be a baby for long, but what youy never had you never miss!

[xhxmxsx]

there is a 4yr age gap between me and my brother and we get on really well and always have done apart from the few odd arguements, my stepchildren have 2 years between them and they get on pretty well aswell

[whiskeysheri]

I don't think it makes a huge amount of difference; there's advantages and disadvantages to both.

There's 21 months between me and my younger sister and although we played together when we were little we didn't actually get on until recently (we actually despised each other throughout our teen!). Now she's my best friend!

My little brother is 8 years younger than me and we've always been very, very close (we're closer than he and my sister are). I'm very protective of him, though.

The only downside with there being the big gap there is, my brother and sister aren't as close as they could be as my sister moved out when he was still very young.

Personally, I think I would go for 2-4 years. Good luck! :o) x

[andy-hughes]

I'd agree with whiskeysheri, there are no hard and fast rules on this. My oldest sister is eight years older than me, my middle sister is thirteen months older. They are very close to each othher, I have no relatipnship with either of them.

My girls are thirty-three, thirty and eighteen (first two are step children) and the oldest and youngest are very close to each other, the middle one less so with either.

So you see, it depends on individuals, which all chikdren are - so go with what nature intends.

[spudqueen]

It depends on you and how you feel. I know people that have had less than 12 months between children and a lady that had three children, with 7 years between the first and middle and 7 years again between the middle and the youngest. Go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable. There are two and a half years between my boys and sometimes they get on, sometimes they don't, though I think that's more their personalities than anything. I wanted a gap of that long as I didn't want two babies together, but it works for some people.

[Cheesefreek]

There were 3 years between my brother and myself, and we got/get on great. There is also 3 years between my two sons - who also get on well. I remember reading somewhere that there could be more chance of jealousy if there is a less than 3 years age gap - and after 3 years, they are too far apart in years to be really close. I'm sure it's not written in stone - but 3 years suited me and my sons. How old is your child now?

[alijangra]

My oldest sister is 20 years older than me, and we are very close. My brother is 14 months older and we dont get on that well. I loved all my older sisters taking me swimming, to the beach etc when I was little as my mum worked and wasn't very maternal anyway.

[tradey]

theres 18yrs between my oldest and youngest,they are very close,loves her to bits,it might change when she gets older, hes 22 and shes 3,fingers crossed they stay close. theres 4yrs between me and my brother never found it a problem,dont think it matters really

[babalicious]

thanks every one, that great advice. The reason i ask is because we do live away from any family and we do have friends but really close ones, so we are totally on our own after my first child who is now 2 and half i think i suffered form a bit of post natal depression due to havinfg no family support and i still find it quite hard now sometimes. so i was thinking of maybe leaving it so i have the second child roughly just as my son starts school. But then is this selfish on my part! Arrgghhh i'm so confused! Thanks again!!

[babalicious]

thanks every one, that great advice. The reason i ask is because we do live away from any family and we do have friends but not really close ones, so we are totally on our own after my first child who is now 2 and half i think i suffered form a bit of post natal depression due to havinfg no family support and i still find it quite hard now sometimes. so i was thinking of maybe leaving it so i have the second child roughly just as my son starts school. But then is this selfish on my part! Arrgghhh i'm so confused! Thanks again!!

[Le Chat]

There is nothing selfish about wanting to make things easier for yourself!! I got post natal depression with both of mine - there is a 7 yr gap - and I have a great support network...It's just the child rearing in itself that gave me it! lol ! However, if you wait until your eldest is in kindergarten/school/playgroup, then you will have less home pressure to deal with, as you will have a bit of time with just the one child. The whole issue of bringing up children is never clear cut - the age gap between mine, whilst good, means that I can't go biking, bowling or to the pictures with my oldest like we used to do, as the little fella (aged 3) is such a tinker!

[mycats]

Oh you need B00 to answer this lol

[Jibergrt]

My two are 6 years apart anad although it was easier when they were younger (the eldest being at school) however as they got older we found it difficult to entertain them both - especially on holiday - as they had such different needs. I think had my circumstances ben different I woul dhave had them really close together

[curiosity]

My 2 eldest are 15 months apart, and although it seems like a hard task, it's actually not twice the work, they are now 16 and 15, but when younger, had the same bedtime routine, similar activities, school events, similar food, holidays were easier etc, they enjoy similar activities now, like fighting with each other lol! They still do some things together with a variety of friends. However University time is going to be expensive! Now a 4 year gap seems sensible. We also have a 7 year old, which when a baby felt great, but as she's older she gets bored wants to be with or do what the older ones are doing, and days out to the park or farm arn't as much fun as the older two are out with their mates, so theres me her and her dad. We now have to redo the swimming lessons etc and sometimes make an effort to get excited about things like cows so she doesn't miss out. My advice would be as close together as you can.

[freak_unique]

There is advantages and disadvantages to both ways really. Small age gaps children share their childhood together but sometimes do not always get on. There is 17 years between me and my brother (I am 22 and he is 5) and we get on great! I am very protective of him, and even when he runs rings around me I'm still always there. Its nice because he looks up to me, and there isnt any sibling rivalry/ jealousy plus it means I am old enough to take him out and spoil him :) I'd love to think that when he hits his teens he would be able to come to me for advice or with anything that is bothering him, and id like to think we will always be close :)