Daughter wants to go into care!!!

[Ulsternush]

Sorry this is a long one.

In the middle of an argument with my 13 year old daughter she said she would rather go into care than listen to me and her Daddy 'slabber' at her!!

She has been hanging about with a girl who goes in and out of care when her Mum does not want her. This girl must have been saying that it is great etc because armed with this and what 'Tracy Beaker' shows you it looks all good in my daughter's eyes.

Last month she and another girls lied to us parents saying they were staying over with the other, only to stay out in the streets all night. We found out when my daughter arrived home at 6:30am and tried to tell a pack of lies. Since this we have pulled her reins in really tight to try and keep her away from these people. But she is rebeling against it with the above comment.

I am seriously thinking of phoning social services on Monday morning to see if someone would talk to my daughter about the reality of being in care.

We are in the proceeds of selling up to move to Spain for a better family life which she is all for but does not seem to understand if she goes into care she will not be going to Spain.

Any comments would be gratefully appreciated.

[meltoadhall]

for one she is only 13 and why dont you just ground her? two - ignore her, her hormones are talking not her brain and eventually (like about 18) she will turn into a fairly nice young woman.
three - if she cant behave like the adult she is trying to be treat her like the child she is being.

I am a very old fashioned mother and my 12 and a half year old tells me so, but she is mostly obedient and I dont allow back chat or rudeness.

ignore the care conversation completely and dont react to her silliness, enjoy preparing for your new life instead

[meltoadhall]

ps never get into arguments with children, you are the parent and the adult and your word should rule

[Neilzulu1]

I know what 13 year olds are like ive got one,please try and stay strong,good luck with your move to spain it will do you all a world of good,getting her away from her friends cant be a bad thing,you will proberly see a change in her straight away she is really lucky to be moving to spain,i hope things work out for you and your family...can me and my family come with you please.......lol

[aims1202]

yeah its best not to argue about it with her, instead you could talk to her like an adult give her total one to one attention and ask her what she really thinks about her friends life and how she would feel if she did go into care, really listen to her and value her opinion. theres no point in getting angry or stopping her see her friends, it wont work, and will just make her feel angry and more likely to do things you dont want her to. if you show her you think she is responsible and can make good decisions she might surprise you and do just that. make sure you spend lots of time with her doing interesting things and keep her included in the family. i think teenagers do actually want this even if it doesnt seem like it or they say they dont.
its a good idea to have a few rules that if broken something is stopped. eg she must be back at a certain time if not she cant go out the next time. i hope it goes well for you, remember it will hard for her moving away at her age and having to make new friends . good luck.

[mrsjones]

i know what u mean.. tracy beaker has a lot 2 answer 4.