access to my 5yr old daughter

[seeyadad]

because i cant afford to pay for my 4yr old daughter to go into kids club after school because i work sometimes until 6pm my ex partner has stopped me seeing her, i'm working but cant afford to pay for solicitors etc please help as this is ruining my life not seeing my little girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[amonty1144]

Have you tried family mediation, they might be able to work out a solution with your ex without resorting to the courts.

Also can your ex get WFTC, you then might be able to make up the 30% difference for the school care.

Unfortunately, these situations are never easy and the person with care holds all the cards.

You might try kids need dads ( a charity) for extra advice.

Sorry about your situatio

[nickyandlee]

I know exactly where your coming from mate, my ex left me 10 years ago, refused me seeing the boys, took it to court, she backed down in court and since then it's you CAN see them, you CANT see them, it tears me apart too. Because of our legal system it's a pain. try talking to your ex in a letter, if you get no response, get a solicitor to write for you expressing your fears of losing your little girl, it worked for a friend. GOOD LUCK MATE, I'm with you all the way!

[Whickerman]

This kind of thing makes me sick. And then people wonder why fathers are pushed into organisations like Fathers for Justice?

I can't give you advice except try talking to her, but you have my best wishes for what they're worth.

[B00]

As the lone woman on this post so far (don't let the beard fool ya) I too would like to add my support. I can't concieve how horrible it must be denied access to your child.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[nickyandlee]

here here!! see seeyadad, there are good females around!! good luck!!

[ojread2]

It amazes me at how many women equate children seeing their children with how much money they shell out as a dad.
Maintenance/childcare payments are and should remain so, two completely different issues.
I thought you could claim legal aid if the case involved children? I know an ex of mine did when we lived together and we were both working and earning good salaries but he got legal aid to fight to see his kids.
Is there no way you could afford half the ASC fees?
Anyway, best of luck!
ojx

[seeyadad]

my ex is on 31k a year and still wont help out.. myself and my fiancee dont get that put together per year..
i took her to court over my girl but as she was in nursery the judge said there was no point in making any orders until she had started school (which she did so on wed)..but it will cost me another �175.00 to do it again which i cannot afford

[seeyadad]

we tried mediation when we first split up and the ex stopped going so that was that! she has used my daughter to in all of this because she wants to hurt me as much as she can..
and as for legal aid? i had L.A last year and all it is, is a loan, with me working i have to pay it back..
all i want in life is my little girl

[B00]

God how horrible, your post has made me all teary (really think I need my hormones looking at!)

I cannot believe how a parent can use a child to 'get at' the other parent.

When I divorced my 1st husband, we were lucky to make sure our animosity didn't leak out onto our daughter. As much as we loathed the sight of each other, I wouldn't have dreamt of refusing him access to her anytime he wished. Luckily said daughter is now 19 and I don't have to get involved in whether they meet or not.

Once again, good luck and let us know how you get on.

[ojread2]

This is very sad. My position was exactly the same as BOO's. I never ever stopped my ex seeing my eldest who I know longer have to get involved with to ensure she sees her father as she is almost 19. He hates me now and hated me then and slated me something awful to her but I never EVER did the same.

All I can suggest seeyadad is keep at it. Send BD and xmas cards, send money when you can or even better open an account in your daughters name and save as much when you can for her, telephone when you can, keep records of everything you do to keep in touch so that when she asks why you didn't see each other you can say 'I tried' give her the prrof and let her make up her own mind. ~If you have proof you won't even have to say anything nasty about her mum, who is IMHO, being a nasty, vitriolic person. She will end up very lonely in her dotage with her
daughter being very resentful towards her
I hope you get something sorted very soon
ojx

[plowter]

Sorry to hear what a sh*t time you're having but you're not the first and won't be the last.

I assume you're in full-time employment. If you're on a low or medium income are you eligible for Working Tax Credits?

You need to set up a legal access agreement and you need a solicitor. Do you have a written agreement? Have you actually checked whether you're entitled to legal aid?

Some solicitors operate a free initial interview scheme. You'll get half-an-hour of advice free. It's a good way of checking out the solicitor before paying him to work for you.

I'd suggest contacting your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice. Many bureaux have free surgeries with solicitors under the pro-bono scheme. The solicitor won't be able to act for you but will be able to answer legal questions or explain the legal issues.

You'll still have to get your own solicitor but this should help you understand what you need to instruct him/her to do for you.

Family mediation is the cheaper option but both parties have to agree.

Good luck.

[seeyadad]

thanx oj.x mr plowter.. i've been told i cant apply for Tax Credits as my daughter is now in school.. is this true?i'd like to know..
you and i both know that solicitors cost money (which i've not got) and all citizens advice do, is give you email addresses or numbers to phone for advice..then all they do is say, see a solicitor...would you know the TRUE definition of Main Carer of a child?? i'm needing clarification on this one

[ojread2]

Hi seeyadad

Yes, you can apply for Tax Credits. Anyone can apply for tax credits whether they have children or not, you don't have to have children to be entitled to TC. It depends on your income
http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Hom eNew.aspx

To get Child Element of TC you must of course have children and I believe those children must live with you. The child element of TC is paid, if you are entitled to it, from the birth of the child at a higher rate for the first year and dropping once the child reaches age 1.

For legal purposes and for claiming Child TC's, then main carer is assumed to be the parent or guardian who has the child living with them full-time. Of course it doesn't mean who cares most for the child - in your case or any other case where one parent uses the child against the other, the parent that does this definitely does not care nor have the child's best interests at heart

ojx

[Pippa68]

Have you thought about representing yourself?

My husband did this after a long winded case (spanning 3 years). The knowledge he had gained from previous experience was good, however wasn't needed that much as most of it boils down to common sense.

I know it will cost some money to make an application, but nowhere near as much as a solicitor costs over the weeks/months! the judge looked upon Mr Pippa very favourably for representing himself. If you do decide to do this make sure you have all the documentation you need ~ solicitors letters, financial documents etc.

You could also try 'Families Need Fathers' who in some cases can connect you to someone who can help you by providing legal advice and have onhand solicitors. They do ask for donations.

Good luck ~ we have been there, and know how hard it is xx