how to explain death to a 3 year old?

[sarahharper]

how to explain death of a relative to a 3 year old?

[missrandom]

We made a bit of a mistake, we said they had gone up to the clouds (my daughter had just turned 3). However a few months later we went on holiday....on a plane.....up in the clouds!! She was terrified that we were all going up there do die, her included. Then when we explained we were "just visiting" and the plane would bring us back down, but she then expected to be able to say hi! Once in the air, in the clouds, she did give a little wave and said hello, to her great grandad! Its a difficult one, good luck.

[missy1981]

when my daughters great nanny died when she was 2, we told her that her nanny had gone to the stars.. never had any problems since, shes now 3 years old and if she ever see's the stars now, she always says about her nanny in the stars now looking out for her xxx

[CushtyFred]

How about sayin they just died

[Lily_b]

CuchtyFred has it right. You need to be honest and say that they have died and if it was because they were very old or very ill say that is the reason they died

3 year olds do not need too much information and usually we try to provide much more info than is required, like what the illness was, that the persons heart gave out etc. Honest answers to questions are best, but try not imply something that could be cause for concern for an impressionable mind e.g. ' died in their sleep' could mean sleeping is dangerous, '

I found a link for you...

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/pregnancyandfamily/ death.htm

It basically says the same stuff as I have above,but also that young children may not grasp that context that death is permanent until a few years later.

[Lily_b]

Sorry CushtyFred, got your name wrong. :-)

[missrandom]

actually you cant just say theyre dead, cushty, as children (especially 3 yr olds) arent satisfied with that, they want to know where theyve gone. The word dead means nothing to a 3 yr old and they want some form of explanation as too why they arent going to see them again. It takes adults long enough to get theyre heads around things like that, let alone tiny children.

[nutgoneflake]

Presuming you've got the advice you need from the other posts about how to explain death, I thought I'd tell you about a children's book you really must buy for the little one, that will help alongside what you finally choose to say. (Especially if it was a close relative who died.) I don't know the author, but the title is "No Matter What." A friend of mine bought it as a Christening present - we all read it at the party afterwards and it's lovely. Really sweet, but for your purpose, totally perfect, trust me!! It deals with the subject beautifully, with no scariness, and can be used to explain whatever, and however you want it to. Really, it's about love, in case it seems an odd Christening present (!) but it will serve your purpose too. I've recommended this in the past to a work colleague with two young daughters when their Nanny died, and she said it had helped enormously.

Hope it suits!!

[Aprilis]

The book No Matter What is by Debbie Gliori and is available at Amazon for around a fiver if that's any help.

[chat2me]

hiya sorri for your lost i have lost a son at 22 mouths and a have a 6 year old and a two year old and i seid to then he is in the stars naw and alway lookin over them and he is with the angles naw and they r lookin after him naw