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I've never used the 'pay or you wont see them' he sees them very regularly, one night a week and some times through the week he has one child a night, i have always bent over backwards for him.
Its not really the money issue, what im saying is he tries to compensate for NOT paying any money through the year by goign over the top at christmas, wereas i struggle, scrimp and scrape all through the year to keep my boys, fed, clothes and warm and happy and he just throws toys at them, and wants this privleged at christmas at seeing that wide opened mouths from all the presents he has brought them.
My youngest is starting to not even value the concept of things now, it was his birthday today and i got him e presents costing around �70 and he said is that all, his dad got loads more. Now all im saying is my ex wants them xmas day all day from xmas night and i wont get them back until late xmas day, yes i can give them a nice boxing day and treat it as another xmas day, but i cant give them half as much as he could. I know they will be dissapointed. Im trying to teach them the value things and its the 'thought thats counts' and all that.
I dont know why i should have to miss them xmas day when i spend my life caring for them and every thing i do is for them.
I do think i will ask them and tell them it does not matter what they want to do, and if they decide to go to thier dads i will put on a brave face, it will totally kill me but its what they woudl have wanted to do.
legend just to put the record striaght it was me who lost feelings for him so it was other way round, and im divorcing him.
Thanks for all your comments you have helped x