how do you cope wih a life long friend about to die

[shanx]

i had a phone call today to say that someone who i have known and been in touch with for years have had, a massive stroke and not expected to live,i didnt expect that when i woke up this morning,i am totaley devistated cant stop crying,i know she would want me at the hospital,but a lot of good i am goig to be to her familey, just blabbing (need to get my act together }

[shanx]

thank you village vicar xx she is blinking and twitching her nose even though she cant speak ,oh! still blabbing

[Psychick]

Adding to what village vicar has said about doing things for her, with my step mum, we would keep her mouth moist, put lip balm on her and brush her hair. It may sound silly to do these things, but it helped us and it was our way of making sure she was comfortable and looking nice.

[bigmamma]

Oh dear , now I am in tears thinking you didn't understand my answer , however I know you are upset and hope you will read it properly at some point later. :-) xxx
All the best for tomorrow.

[shanx]

she liked fleece jackets maybe i will take her a fleece blanket ,my god i just wish i could stop crying ,i feel so useless

[shanx]

no bigmamma dont feel upset ,sometimes you dont let your familey know you are that upset because they will get upset ,and it will rollercoaster ,so its better to talk to strangers

[ELVIS68]

I`d hate to be in your situation, I`m sh!t when it comes to things like that

When my Father in law was on his last knockings, I couldn`t handle being around his bedside with the rest of the family and inlaws

I told my Mother in law that I want to walk in a room and laugh with people, not cry and she understood that

[bigmamma]

I know that shanx , ..lol... I was on here saturday night needing my friends on here :-)

[shanx]

you sound like mr shanx elvis,i am torn by what is being said to me

[Psychick]

shanx the blanket sounds like a lovely idea! now go and try to get some sleep ready for going to see your friend tomorrow. we are all thinking of you, lets us know how your visit goes and how your friend is doing.

bigmamma, you too.........off to bed its late! lol thats where Im going!

night night everyone.

[bigmamma]

I will Psychick , please tell me you can see my answers were all in good heart or I shall not sleep , I am too upset at the thought that I have been misunderstood.

[ELVIS68]

Do what you feel is right for you

I`m one of those who can`t do those bedside visits, I like to remember them as they were

Sorry I`m no help but best of luck

[zig_zag]

dont worry bigmamma
we all know you have a heart of gold

[ELVIS68]

bigmamma..shush ya noise, you haven`t said anything out of order x

[bigmamma]

Ah , zig_zag and ELVIS ,I'm glad you can see that , I can go to bed now with an easier mind . Thankyou so much xx

[VillageVicar]

Shanx: I believe this is all the more reason for you to go. She needs you there. Let the family know you are coming and perhaps prepare to stay overnight in the room with your friend.

I sleep soundly in those large chairs our hospitals use. I've spent many nights in them.

If you know of a favourite book of your friends, please bring it and read it to her. If not, find anything you know she might like.

Most of all, your being there will be the greatest gift she could receive.

http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/2006/06/ thank-you-sarah.html

You remain in my thoughts

Fr Bill

[squidgybumbu]

as long as you are there for them theyl be happy. so what if you cry you have feelings to

[dot.hawkes]

Shanx there is no telling what each day brings, many of us on AB have shared our experiences of that on here lately, what you need to be thinking now is that this person is the one who needs your strength and support, as they prepare themselves now to leave you all, I don't pretend to know how people cope when they know they are dying, my auntie is very much at peace with it, but she is 93 and really wants to join her darling Bill, who she was married to for 62 years and lost 7 years ago. But then 26 year old Danny, my son's best friend, was snatched from us all without a moments notice and we never had the luxury of telling him goodbye properly, sometimes you get the chance and should embrace it, who knows how things work in this life eh?

[Psychick]

shanx, have you been able to get to see your friend yet? How are you doing?