Taking On Another Mans Child, Could You?

[Chappers]

A friend of mine is planning on getting married next year, his girlfriend is about 8 years older than he is and she has 2 young children from a previous relationship (don't know if they share a father) My friend right from the start has accepted everything and their relationship seems to be very healthy! But what if that were me? I don't think I could handle it...there's just something inside me that I don't think would let me be happy with it. I know people say that love conquers everything but I don't know if I would be able to wake up every morning and be reminded that the woman I love has at some point been impregnated (twice in my friends case) by another man! HOW can you get your head around something like that?

[raysparx]

Well said funky and nox,

, god i'm in my late 50s and I can't see the problem if they love each other, Live and let live,not a bad way to be !!!!

[Chappers]

Hey I'm not against it...I simply asked how you get your head around something like that? Does true love REALLY over-ride any jealous feelings that you may have about your partners past? Do you people believe in "true love" or even "soulmates"? My friend seems very happy with his decision and yes, she is a lovely woman, I hope they will be happy for the rest of their lives. But as an outsider who doesn't have to deal with the situation first hand, I find it difficult to imagine the scenario if it were me.

[Chappers]

Nox, I wasn't brought up in a religeous manner at all...just a caring family who encouraged honesty and love and to think a little bit before diving into things. I learnt when I was at school and teenagers all around me were leaving school due to pregnancy that other people did not share my beliefs that love and sex are different. I think I was the ONLY person paying attention during my sex ed lessons!

I can't believe anyone here was not brought up as a child with the notion of "man and woman who love each other very much etc..." I just wasn't told that "man and woman have sex with multiple partners until they find the one they love"

[Chappers]

The next thing I know, I'm at college and everyone is shagging like mad, they don't care who the person is inside, just that they are "fit" and I found that to be extremely shallow and sad...I guess all of my issues with this stem from a mixture of what I was exposed to growing up.

Funky, I went a bit off topic there but I was being bashed a bit like if I were not happy or supportive towards him, that is not the case! Tell me...WHY are you not big on the idea of living with another mans kids? Just to say you aren't big on the idea is no reason.

[funkymoped]

Chappers.
simple mate, ive got two kids that are more to me than life...
ive been throught the sleepless nights, the worry, the school years.
now, i look at my kids and am very proud of who they are !!!

there is no way on this earth, another mans kid could compare to my two. i wouldnt be comfortable being a step dad to another mans kids... cant be more honest than that !!!!
its not that i wouldnt want them, just couldnt love them like i do my own. in fact, i dont think i could get close enough to feel "love" for another mans children.

shallow maybe, but a honest answer.

[Chappers]

And I respect you very much for saying it! Fair enough.

[Thunderchild]

problem is people need to think more than twice before erm... getting into things and I don't mean the relationship with a man/woman that has a child already but that first relationship that didn't work and produced a child often through carelessness. today people get together far too easily or are not careful enough when "just in a relationship" and the consequences are obvious