who gets custody of my children if i die?

[hayley1973]

hi there, i'm 34 and have 2 children 16 and 3 and half by 2 different men, neither are named on birth certificates. my youngests(A GIRL) father pays maintenance thru CSA. I've had new partner for 3 yrs who my daughter calls daddy. He said he's have both children if anything happened to me but what does the law state. they only see my parents, niether see grandparents from their fathers side. sounds complicated!! would i have write a will and would it stand up in court. i just wouldnt want my daughter birth father coming out of woodwork after and claiming her as his daughter to annoy everyone in my family, cos he's spiteful like that. please help!! Dont hope to die yet but u never know X

[Ethel]

Nobody would get custody of your eldest as she is 16.

You could nominate a person you wish to be your youngest's legal guardian and the courts would have to take account of that if it were challenged by anybody else.

However, the court will base their decision on the best interests of the child. If she is old enough to express a strong opinion they will certainly listen to her .

The birth father does have rights - does he see her as well as maintain her? If he is not involved in her day to day life then it is unlikely he would get residency.

And you must be realistic. As spiteful as he is, having a child live with you full time is too big a responsibility for a person to do to spite a dead woman.

So make a will naming your partner as legal guardian. It will make things easier.

[hayley1973]

my son(16) would probably emigrate!! he hates the UK.my daughter(3) doesnt see her birth father, he reluctantly pays when he feels like it. thanks for advice, will see about making a will, can u do them online nowadays?