marriage over

[alone.]

My marriage ended amicably tonight after 10 and a half years. He wanted this for months; I had to learn to accept it over the last few weeks.
When does the pain go away?
I haven't even told the kids yet.
We are the best of friends and always will be, he will see the kids every day and is welcome. He is being financially supportive.
All those memories.....do they ever become ones I can think of without wanting to cry?

[legend758duo]

pain goes away

but

the memories will alwyas come and go.

you get over it
and move on .

on to your next emotional problem

[bensmum]

So sorry to hear your news. Even in the most amicable of splits there is pain and after 10 years you have a wealth of memories.
You will be able to look back without crying but give yourself time and don't be afraid to cry at the moment.
The important thing is that you are both seen to be there for your children. They will be upset but keeping it friendly can ease the pain for them.
Take care
XX

[cruella]

Got to agree with Legend
You do eventually move on but it is like a rollercoaster at times.
Wishing you all the best.
Better things to come!

[fluffykitten]

legend, r u related to me? i`m also nasty and blunt!!

who would share something so personal on such a site? its hysterical

[legend758duo]

fluffy could you explain if thats an insult or not ??

[alone.]

thanks all for kind replies, they do help. fluffy kitten you made me smile at least!!!!

[Pippa68]

I felt the same about my ex husband.

Over the past 13 years he has turned into a ba$tard. Oh well, at least I don't get emotional about him anymore!

Yes, it gets easier...

[helliebobs]

alone., I split up with my husband this year after nearly 3 years of marriage and when I was 8 months pregnant. I didn't want us to split up but it was the best thing to do. It is amicable for the most part, but it's still bloody hard and it's even harder still when he is moving on faster than I am but I know I'll get there in the end. It helps that I have the suport of brilliant family and some of the best friends I could wish for. My son also makes things so much more bearable as he is a complete and utter joy.
It's a cliche but time is a great healer and you will get there!

[Imp y Celyn]

well i suppose you can be glad he hasn't announced he is now gay.

its hard. you feel deserted and rejected. and lonley. but all those things are temporary and they will pass. if it has been lingering for a while consider it an opportunity to start afresh without that burden. when the time feels right go out and live again. life is for living, not regretting or looking back wondering what might have been. you have the rest of your life ahead. make it a good one.

best of luck. impy

[spottychops]

thanks for your support,

alone, i understnad. i`ve been dumped by a gay manhttp://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion478947-3.html

[velvet lady]

blimy, porr u, what with the spotty trick, is this one real'?

poor u xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cry and cry loads, u need to

[alone.]

Thanks velvet xxx
I just read the spotty posts; not really sure why this is amusing to some . I have known this site for years and when I really need a shoulder there are many but I just don't get some people.
Anyway, feeling kind of better, we are texting loads tonite, it is for the best etc etc as i really could not have in all honesty imagined us together for the next 40 years, bumbling on. I am seeing it as a new chapter, just dreading letting kids know.
It is not all drastic as life will be pretty much the same with him in and out the house.
Life's rich tapestry, etc, etc .

[velvet lady]

u cant move on if hes in and out!! u need to let go and settle down for a while, will kill u to see him so much, porr u x

[alone.]

this is the wierd thing tho velvet, we are still great friends.
Throughout the last month when we have talked and talked and talked, we have been fair, respectful and whatever. I hoped he would change his mind but I could not make him.
I can't force him to be unhappy and he has told me he will be there for me and kids forever.
He is paying my bills as per, more than I could really hope for. What should I do? I want him around for the kids, we all love him as a person and I can also accept it is over.

[topogigo]

Take my advice, if you can't really feel it, at least live as you don't care about him or any thing that you have done together. Stuff amicable. You can't afford to let yourself be weakened by memories. This is survival, grit your teeth and move on. Believe!!!
I truly hope you will never shed a tear again, look after yourself.

[alone.]

Thankyou all if you are still watching my thread.....last Friday seems a lifetime ago now; I would not want that night back again.
Things moved on so swiftly and so well, everything is good, everyone is happy and friends and we are apart.