What is the best ?

[Lamine]

 What would you suggest ?   love before married or married and after that there will be love !?   lot of people said that the first one disappear quickly after marriage !!!   the others said that the second one maybe there will not be at all !!!

[andy hughes]

It's a cultural difference. In Western cultures, the norm is to fall in love, and get married. In Eastern cultures, where arranged mariages are the norm, the concept of growing to love your husband or wife after marriage is considered an acceptable circumstance. Love only 'disappears' after marriage if the couple do not make the necessary adjustments to married life. As for love coming after marriage, that does depend on the two individuals concerned, and cannot be predicted in advance. Hope this helps.

[kags]

It's all about expectation really. If you marry someone you love and expect the love to last with no effort then the love may well disappear. As andy hughes says, marriages take hard work sometimes, you have to make compromises and work together to sort out problems. If you marry someone and expext love to automatically follow then you may well be disappointed too. You may well grow to love each other, or you may not but still be perfectly happy together. The important thing is that both people in the marriage have the same attitude and expections.  Listen to other people's experiences and opinions but remember you are different, what is true for others may be completely wrong for you.

[sweetheart]

Either way, it's about accepting each other, understanding each other and being there for one another. Western or Eastern, if you build upon your basic elements, there will be love. Love/marriages/relationships take(s) an awwwful lot of working on. Someone (can't remember who) once said ''IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW COMPATIBLE YOU ARE, BUT HOW YOU DEAL WITH YOUR DIFFERENCES''.

[OBonio]

Also, someone once said 'You put more into a relationship than you get out of it'.  I've stuck by this all my life and seems to work for me.