Sorry louise love is an illusion created to sell lots of cr@p on the 14th of february each year. The only thing you can be sure of is a broken heart not love.
Louise I think that none of the things you mention are certain, if you don't go to the toilet, eat or sleep then you will die which was the original certainty, and as for love.... hogwash!
Oh, Einstein, I had no idea things were so tight, hope you find something rewording soon. I tried to ring to invite you down to run your hands over my cushions, but there was no answer.