Is my dead husband still here?

[Ivy_Jones78]

I am a 78 year old widow. My husband passed away with cancer 3 years ago and I have been alone and missing him very much since.  My problem is that every time I feel myself attracted to anyone else I feel as if he is watching over me.  I know that it will take time to get over him but I became very upset the other evening. I ended up drinking almost a whole bottle of brandy to myself and headed up to bed. I was feeling lonely so I tried to pleasure myself but I could not do it for long as I feet guilty and I could feel him watching over me.  Am I abnormal thinking like this during self stimulation?

[ICEMANSAV]

How long were you married? You are not abnormal, my Father died from Cancer and I know that it takes time for the pain to heal. As for attraction towards others this is a natural feeling and should not lead to a feeling of guilt. If you feel your husband is watching over you maybe your grieving period has not come to an end and you need a bit more time. An important thing to remember is that your husband would want you to be happy and enjoy your life, maybe thinking of this will help you while you feel attracted to another.

[hargreaves]

That's terrible. Loneliness can be so crippling and demoralising. It's hard, I thought the old maxim of time being a great healer would be true, but I guess that's not the case for everyone. You're in my thoughts.

[georgit79]

ICEMANSAV has given a very good and genuine answer. Go with that. I can't really add anything else! And it's refreshing to see that you still have strong sexual urges- I hope I'm the same when I reach your age!

[Ivy_Jones78]

Oh I may be old but still need to pleasure myself from time to time, it doesn't help having arthritis in my arms though!

[maximo]

ok, am I the only one here thinking this question is a wind-up ???

[georgit79]

maximo, I'm not going to go into that again because I keep getting told off for it. I'm just going to plead ignorance and answer the question!

But...yes.

[FP]

No, you're not alone.

[ll_billym]

I think that it is purely by the username.

[ICEMANSAV]

Sort of wishing I hadn't mentioned my dad now. But am upset to have to agree Georgit and FP

[georgit79]

ICEMANSAV, that's what gets me about these hoax posters. You just opened up about something very personal to you in an attempt to help, and it turns out that this "person" is just having what he/she thinks is a laugh.

[natalie_1982]

(that's why I didn't even answer) Georgit you're letting the side down! I thought we weren't going to answer?

[maximo]

I'm sorry if this question is indeed genuine, but seeing the poster's answer ...it sounds like a bad joke. If it IS a wind up, it's extremely disrespectful for the people who have answered it in good faith. Again, I apologize if it is genuine.

[FP]

If this is a hoax then it is one of the most disrespecting and upsetting one imaginable.  If it is not a hoax then I'm sure the poser of the question will not object to me saying this.  Making a joke out of bereavement and cancer is sick. 

[FP]

error - disrespectful.

[maximo]

Totally agree, Fakeplastic.

[Ivy_Jones78]

To be quite honest I am appalled with some of the answers I have read.  I have seen other questions on here and believe that you lot are only here to give sarcastic answers and pick on people with real problems, making out they are fake.  You should all be ashamed of yourselves! I come on here to ask a serious personal question that happens to have a slight sexual reference and this is how I get treated.  If I was a 16 year old asking about a sexual problem would you treat me the same? or is it just because I am older than most of the users on her. I think this is disgusting behaviour and will not be using this dreadful site again.

[natalie_1982]

Off with his head!