post delivery Intimacy

[rico35]

my girlfriend had a baby 2 weeks ago. How long do you reckon it will take before we can start having intimate sessions again?

[redcrx]

when shes ready and not before! these things cant be planned! Sorry.

For a start she may well be experiencing lochia bleed which isnt very nice for a lot of women, pain and discomfort if shes had stitches (you didnt actually say if if was a vaginal birth but ive presumed that you wouldnt be asking this if she'd had a c-section). her womb will be contracting back to its normal size which can also cause pain. her body can take a while to recover

all this in addition to the fact that she has a young baby to tend to, night feeds, exhaustion, the hormone changes, the life changing experience of having a baby.........................

Please just be patient.

[baileybird]

as soon as you like - providing it is what you both want!

[Pippa68]

How long is a piece of string?

As red quite rightly says, it has to be when your g/f is ready. If it happens before she is ready it could do some damage..not neccessarily physically, but emotionally.

Having a baby is incredibly trying on the body & mind. Breastfeeding can also delay things, as you tend to be geared up towards coping with the needs of the baby more than anything else.

I didn't have sex until about 5 months after the birth of my first child, whilst after the others I was raring to go after about 3 weeks. I depends on lots of factors, and all I can suggest is to make sure you are there for your girlfriend ~ showing her love, respect and help with the baby :o)

[jno]

she may well recover from the exhaustion more quickly if, for instance, you take over the 2am feeds to give her a few hours more sleep... how about it, daddy?

[seekeerz]

Back when I had my two [last century] doctor's advice was 4 -6 weeks afterwards,particularly if the mother was going back on the pill - I don't know what current attitudes are, but it still sounds like reasonable advice to me - I doubt your girlfriend would want to fall pregnant again, so soon after the birth, but it's quite possible.

Plus it would also depend on the degree of difficulty of the delivery - some women feel pretty wrecked afterwards, so please - no pressure

[bigmamma]

This reminds me of a father in the delivery room after his partner had delivered and the doctor was sat about to suture her episiotomy . Seeing the opportunity to speak to the doc the man asked him when he could have intercourse with her again , well , the doctor just said , let me sew her up first !

[Pippa68]

My first husband asked the doctor to ''put another stitch in for later'', bigmamma!

The insensitive git.

[Goodsoulette]

Physically, it takes 2 weeks for the cervix to close completely, so if the woman has no tears she may be told that 2 weeks before she resumes having sex. However, sometimes it's advisable to wait 6 weeks until she has her postpartum check up, the doctor then checks her vagina, perineum and cervix.

That's just physically though. Whateve you do though, dont stop hugging or kissing her. Make her feel attractive and help her not feel so tired all the time. If she is breastfeeding suggest she expresses some milk so that you can help with the night feeds. If she is tired and you aren't making her feel attractive, you have zero chance of getting her back in the sack.

[beejaybee]

Bloody hell mate, give her a chance.

[LittleMissxx]

so your girlfriend had a baby eh........ didnt you have it too then ?

[Doc Spock]

Depends whether the birth was in a private or a public ward. If it was public you will have to wait till you get her home.

[louise23]

give her a chance to recover after my baby i bled for two weeks and still needed another two weeks to recover from the trauma of giving birth dont pressure her or she will feel she will have to do it even if shes not ready.

[tigwig]

I personally waited 3 weeks it was one drunken night and we didn't use contraception as I hadn't yet had chance to go back on the pill, fortunately I didn't get pregnant again so soon

[Katy May]

I was told to wait 6 weeks. When I told my mother this her response was '6 weeks, your father wouldn't wait 6 days'. So not what i wanted to hear!

[jno]

breastfeeding often has a contraceptive effect - not that I'd rely on it, but it might have been what saved you, tigwig