Raised Security Threat

[Oneeyedvic]

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case. A bit of light relief for a Monday afternoon

[amsterdammer]

Is this a question, or an essay, or did you just wish to practice your typing?

[Gromit]

Quite funny.

That's what I thought, when I first read it 6 months ago

http://kaysquirrel.blogspot.com/2007/07/increa se-in-international-security.html

[Oneeyedvic]

I'm always the last to know :-(

[tiggerblue10]

You forgot the Swiss who might as well be on another planet.

[tiggerblue10]

Or should I say kaysquirrel forgot the Swiss.

[Oneeyedvic]

raggy - For someone who moans about the Politically Correct, you aren't half an hypocrite

[Oneeyedvic]

I'm obviously missing something - what exactly is insulting or disrespectful about this?

Am I mentioning any specific terrorist attack, or even any terrorist organisation.

The passage was done in humour and most intelligent people would see it that way.

If for any reason anyone else has taken offence at this, then I do apologise.

[B00]

Well I thought it funny OEV, cheers for sharing :-)

[Gromit]

RAGGY ROMAN

This is a variation on a very old monolgue which pre-dates the wave of Islamic fundamentalist terrorist attacks of the last few years. It is merely stereotyping of different nationalities in wartime. If you google it you will you will get 1700 hits, and there are other variation on the same theme.

Having said that, on refection I am downgrading from 'quite funny' to 'quite irreverent'.

[amsterdammer]

Another day off Raggyass? Or are you misusing the firms computer yet again?

[persianlady]

Well i have never heard this one before, and I thought it was very amusing. Thank you oneeyedvic. For Gods sakes you people get a grip! Is that not what sets us Brits apart ? The spirit of the Blitz ? Our sense of humour? Laughing in the face of adversity? People who work in stressful occupations, i.e. paramedics, will often say that they have a laugh and a joke about the horrendous things they have to deal with, Its the only way they can get through it sometimes. It may seem disrespectful, but there you go. Lose your sense of humour and you may as well give up. Life is so depressing if you take it too seriously.

[webbo3]

try typing this into google.

french military victories

and then hit im feeling lucky




Dave.