Been telling my self

[wiggal]

Its just another day..
This year, I will be spending christmas day with my fellas family, This might not seem like such a big thing for many or most of you, but Im dreading it!
It will be my first Christmas away from my mum and stepdad & my brother. My sister & her wife & kids are coming down to my mums on xmas day aswell which i think is making it harder as they werent there last year, and my sister in laws brother died 3 weeks ago & ive been desperate to see them.
We are doing a christmas day at my mums on boxing day, but my brother will be seeing my dad (I'm also meant to see my dad on boxing day!)
Am I as silly as i think i am getting upset about this?
I do really like & get on well with my fellas family, but, its just not my family!
:( Its actually been getting to me for months, the thought of having to decide, but I kept putting it off!
Did anyone else have this the first time they were away from their family for xmas?

[dot.hawkes]

Yes I had this after i married in 1978, that first Christmas we went to his folks and then we went to mine Boxing day, we had also travelled 250 MILES to be there as he was in the RAF, and I worked for The House of fraser and i only had 2 days off, it was so strange and I felt strange watching people taking part in their own traditions, one of which was christmas Dinner at 5pm, and i thought that was soooo wierd

[wiggal]

We will be having 3 different roasts for lunch, I know that much!
My fellas family are from S.A, and so we have rice, pumpkin, sweet potato n all sorts with roasts, which is cool!
Its just being away from my family im really gonna struggle with, & I know im gonna get upset when i speak to my mum on the phone :(

[pingu97]

Aww Wiggal how difficult! I'm afrais i dont have any words of wisdom because i think i'd be exactly the same, well i know i would! In fact i dont think i'd even compromise it so well done to you for doing it even if it is hard, i'm quite lucky in a way cuz my in laws live down south & never come up for xmas, although i do feel sorry for my hubby over xmas as the only family he has up here are me, our 4yr old & my family (who love him to bits), all i can suggest is steam ahead through it, it will be hard but if you get upset & need to cry do it, if your fella loves you he'll understand why you're upset & just keep thinking about boxing day! good luck!

[wiggal]

Hey Pingu, thank you :)

Im dreading getting upset! Ive said to my fella this evening, that although I love his family, im going to get upset and I dont want him to think its because I dont want to be with his family, its just I want to be with my family (if that makes sense!)
He has spent the last 2 christmas days with my family, so its only fair, and i completely understand his family want to see him on christmas day, but his family arent that fussed about christmas as my lot are!
Also, my fella is 26, and spent christmas away from his family before (with his x grrr!) Where as Im 20 and have never been away from my mum! Tbh, Im getting upset just thinking about not seeing her!
I think my mum has found it more difficult the last couple of years especially, because my sister has been up north with her wife and kids, and last year there was only 5 of u. we had a great time, but it wasnt the same, and so as my sister is coming down, I feel I should be there!

We are looking to buy a house, so I have said this evening, next year, we will have our first christmas in our own home, and have both his & my family round! Solves all the problems!

Then theres my dad, who will phone me on xmas day, and ask what time we are going to see him boxing day, only for me to say I wont be seeing him as will be with my mum and that! But I dont want to tell him before hand because it will upset him!
Big Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

[wiggal]

Also, I dont have to worry (i dont mean that to sound harsh if it does) about my fella seeing his dad, as he is still in Sout Africa! Although I wish we could see them, as my fella has a baby sister (half) who was born 2 years ago this new year, who he has never even met! He has never spoken to her or even seen a picture of her!

[skyep]

wiggal - Do you have webcam? xx

[wiggal]

No i dont think I do!
Why!? x

[skyep]

So you can see your family when your not there!

[wiggal]

We got my mum a laptop for her birthday, so I suppose we could get a webcam for her, but I think that would upset me even more! :(

[skyep]

But at least you could talk to each other & have a visual image xxx

[wiggal]

Im going to be on the phone to them alot, i know that, but Im worried about offending my fellas family.
He knows im going to find it hard and going to get upset, but I dont want his family to think i would rather not be there.

[skyep]

Is it practical to spend half the time at one, then go home? Then next year the partner does the same?