what to do?

[DPSA]

im in a long distance relationship, im from newcastle and my girlfriend lives in london.

her mum is going away for christmas and she is staying so we had been planning to spend christmas together. we were talking about it the other day and it turns out she want me to stay with her for 2 days then i have to go stay in a hotel for a night so she can be with her firends then i can go and stay with her again, she sees her friends everyday and me maybe twice a month.

i said no. im not going to stay in a hotel so you can see your friends, can you not just tell them your busy for a few days and spend the time with me as we hardly see each other and now see says im making her pick between me and her firend.

is it really unfair of me to ask her to spend maybe 4 days with me and not for me to not want to left alone somewhere in london where i know no one?

[Ice.Maiden]

Why can't you meet her friends and all go out together?

[Pippa68]

Why does she need you out of the house for her to see her friends...can't you stay there and have a quiet night in with a movie?

[Reverandfunk]

I agree with Pippa

[Reverandfunk]

Or she thinks you mite wear her dresses

[DPSA]

she doesnt mix her firends, she has her school friends, she has other firends and she has me, she says none of the other groups know anyone else. so she has 3 seperate groups of friends which dont know each other

i said i dont mind meeting her firends but she said that she dont want us to mix, and that id hate it cos all they do is laugh and screm there heads off and id be asked loads of question, and so would she and she dont want to answer them.

i love her but i dont know what to do

[Reverandfunk]

deaf her out mate, sounds dodgy to me

[velvet lady]

u sound lovely
she sounds like a sad little girl who doesnt know the meaning of xmas

dump her now, and save your present money and spend it on yourself,

find someone else with a brain


xxxx

[lorla]

Yes this seems a bit unfair to me - I'd be horrified if my boyfriend did that to me. But ....I also appreciate that she wants to see her friends - Christmas is definitely a time for friends and family so I think it's only normal that she wants to see them....however I don't understand why she can't see you and her mates? That would be my compromise - that way she gets the best of both worlds. Maybe suggest it and see what she says?

I guess this wouldn't be such a problem if you were local but being a stranger to the area I don't think she's being very kind leaving you on your own.

[Pippa68]

I don't see a problem with the g/f spending time with her mates.

I just don't know why he has to stay elsewhere for her to do it.

[Petal~flower]

It seems a bit unfair on you. But do a reverse psychology thing on her. Tell her, OK, if she wants you to spend time in a hotel while she is out with her friend. Then you will have to go out and meet some new friends for company (lie ok)

She may change her mind.

[perigra]

sounds like she's playing you.
don't play the game!

[figure]

You sound like a nice person who deserves better. Since you are her boyfriend and will be going to 'her' for the holiday I think it's only fair to you that she spend the time with you. She not wanting you to meet her friends sounds a bit shady. I think she's playing you. In my opinion you'd be making a fool of yourself if you agree to her arrangements.

[Whoever]

Well, ask yourself if she intends to keep all her various friends compartmentalised if you have a long term future together, and will you never be allowed to meet any of them? I would have thought that if she was serious about you and you have so little time together she would have wanted to make the most of it and spend as much time as possible with you. Or does she not want you to meet and mix with her friends because she's possible embarrassed or ashamed of you socially in some way? I don't know the answers but I suspect you deserve somebody who treats you better. I'd give Christmas in London a miss and look around for a new girlfriend locally who will treat you better.

[lilminxlou]

sounds dodgy 2 me. i had a long distance relationship not long ago, he didnt even say happy bday 2 me, i went to effort of callin him on new years (which is hard 2 get thru cos phonelines r busy) and he just wanted me 2 hang up so he cn go see his m8s. he wud always expect me 2 call him and send him money but i cudnt ring or txt while he was watchin motd! he is now my ex and im now living with my current bf. moral of story? first sign of trouble and drop her, its not on, this is what it will b like for months to come until you become angry and bitter to each other.