Life...etc!

[~max~]

Ok, I'm off tomorrow so I've been having a few drinks (just setting the picture..lol). I'm wondering right now if there are many women who actually WANT to settle down and have kids, a house, a husband and it never actually happens? It may be because I just turned 30 recently, but I'm actually wondering if it is just never going to happen for me....Am I too picky? Is there such a thing as an "un-marriable" woman? Everyone I see who is of a certain age (say over 35), either has kids, or just didn't wanna have any. Does it actualy happen for someone to want kids, and marriage, but it never happens?

[~max~]

Nevermind then! :O)

[leelapops]

Um, I am not sure really max. I know I don't really want kids, or marriage, but I do like being settled and so on. By 'never happens', I assume you mean it hasn't happened yet! Never say never, hun, you absolutely cannot predict tomorrow.

Why are you worried? x

[cazzz1975]

30?! gawd blimey your not ready to hang up your boots yet!,
whos to say that you wont fall head over heels for someone in the next year?

these thing often come up when your least expecting it!

[dot.hawkes]

last week i went to visit my school friend who was up at her parents home visiting, i see her a few times a year as she lives in Richmond. She is the same age as me and has 2 boys, her younger sister is 51 and has never had any children and had been trying for 17 years. Their Dad dird last Summer and within a few weeks she suddenly realised she was pregnant for the first time at 50! She was at the house with her 4 month old little baby girl last week and she is in seventh heaven, so never say never.

[~max~]

Hurray for leelapops! lol
I'm not worried as such, it's just that I've been thinking about "it" a lot lately...The way my life is going, I just don't see it happen any time soon, and let's face it, there IS such a thing as the biological clock! lol I know I'm still young, but I really don't see my situation changing. I really want to settle down with the man I love (I have found him, he just doesn't know it yet! lol), have kids and all that. Only mentionned marriage as an example, I'm not particularly set either way. But I haven't had a long term relationship in 4 years now, and I'm feeling a bit like Bridget Jones! :O)

[China Doll]

I'm still very unsure about the whole thing and whether I want someone in my life in that way.

I was recently with someone who I adored in my own way but because of the situation it wasn't hearts and flowers and we both knew it had a shelf life and I wonder whether I would have liked them half as much if there was ever a chance it could last longer than the month it did. Because I knew it would end I felt very safe and as much as letting them go has stung a little it's also a sort of relief. I'm pretty sure we're going to have an amazing friendship in the future and that's enough for me.

I think to question whether someone is unmarriable is not actually the right question... perhaps it's better to look at why if it's something you want that you seem unable to have it? Do you really want it or are you just conditioned to see it as the norm? There are other ways of having children after all.

[leelapops]

China, I like the way you think...You're kind of, erm, *tries and fails to think of suitable word in her limited vocab!* bittersweet ?

max, bless you. I just think you never know what's going to happen next...Life holds so many surprises, twists and turns, and I have all of a sudden realised that living for the moment is the new black :)

Take hold of it hun, and when you tell your new beloved how you feel, don't hold back :) xx

[~max~]

You're right China, but I would like to do it the conventional way some day...I just don't see it happening!
I suppose it's mostly because I've just learned that 2 of my ex boyfriends are getting married soon, and as much as I wouldn't want them now (we are still great friends, and I love them to bits, just not in that way anymore!), it still made me think. It takes time to build a relationship, and I'm a bit scared that it just won't happen for me.

[~max~]

Leelapops, my "beloved" is actually my best friend, and I just can't bring myself to tell him! lol See? I just don't see a way out!

[leelapops]

Oh max, love, what a dilemma!
I bet you adore him too much to even consider telling him. In that case, don't grab hold and rush in....cancel all previous advice I just gave!! What a predicament. I hope something comes together. These things take time, whatever happens. For now, enjoy this (most wonderful!) time of year. Most of us have much to be thankful for, I hope you do :) x

[~max~]

I've known him for a year and a half now, and I absolutely adore him, and would see myself spending the rest of my life with him. That's how bad it is! lol
I can't tell him though, because I don't want to spoil our friendship if he doesn't feel the same way.
In the meantime Ive been meeting a few very nice men, but nobody even compares!!! Argh....lol

[paddysgirl]

i am coming up 54 years old and can honestly say i never wanted to get married, tried it once coz i thought i should, have had a few long term relationships ( 1 daughter 2 grandsons whom i adore) but can honestly say if i had my time over again i would never have married nor lived with anyone, just had "social relationships"

[China Doll]

You should just tell him max, the longer you go on as friends then the more you'll be seen as a friend and less like an eligable female and you'll end up in a brother/sister friendship which is lovely but hell on earth if one of you fancies the other.

If you're that close and he doesn't feel the same way you will find another way to be friends, if he runs a mile then you weren't that close and hopefully it'll be neither of those but he's not a mind reader.

And before you say 'easy for me to say' I have been both the person at the end of someones affections and the one who liked the other so it can be done. I find blurting it out in a heap of words works wonders if that's any help, preferably after a couple of glasses of wine.

[~max~]

Old dog? Thanks very much! lol ;O)

Been trying to post for ages, and can't so let's see!