What would you do?

[HJT40]

My brother and my nephews mum live together in the same house, but sleep in different rooms and don't really get on, haven't done for a long while. I have discussed this in previous posts.

She has never visited our family on birthdays and he has always said she is not well etc etc. She would also spent the afternoon upstairs than join in with a BBQ at their house. I visited for my nephews birthday and she did not even look up from her chair, as if we were not there.

A month ago she announced to her family that they are no longer a couple and she does not want them to be treated as such. Since which time my brother has not been invited to her families house.

My brother has asked that I still put her name on the christmas card. But I don't want to. I also have not got her a Christmas pressie. I know I am probably being childish, but she has hurt my brother so much and he has been so loyal to her. I know the only reason her name is on any cards to us is because he puts it on there. She would not bother if it was left to her.

Would you acknowledge her this Christmas in any way?

[redcrx]

what a terrible situation and I can understand why you feel such hostility towards her after her treatment of your brother and your family.

BUT if your brother has asked you to put her name on the card then please do so. OK dont give her a pressie but at least acknowledge her if he wishes so. Your brother may just be trying to keep the peace in what must be a terrible time for him

[HJT40]

Thank you Red for being understanding. It does hurt me to see her treat him like this - not that I am saying he is an Angel all the time, but he is my brother.

She even had a go at him when our mum died and I put a notice in the newspaper without her name on it. Again she never really took the time to get to know my mum and I thought it was best to put family names on it.

I do wish he would move out!!

[redcrx]

He may not see her the way you do though.

He may see it that he has to stay with her and protect her as you dont want anything to do with her and wont welvcome her into the family. Not that Im saying that is the case but who knows what he is thinking. By not putting her name on a card you may be leaving him open to all sorts of trouble from her.

[HJT40]

Thank you, yes I will do it. I will think of him, rather than my anger.

All my family have sent them both cards and no doubt some will give her presents too. It confirms how nice and kind my family are and how lucky I am to have them.